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    Hayden posted an update 9 months, 4 weeks ago

    There have been some positives, though!

    My identity is something that I’ve always struggled with. I consider myself gender-fluid nowadays. Any and all pronouns welcome. I’m more comfortable with myself and have found a style that works for me depending on how I’m feeling any given day.

    I’m also working my dream job. I’m not certified yet,…[Read more]

    • It’s good to see you are in a more comfortable and happier place mentally, emotionally and physically @devilndisguise, always be kind to yourself and focus on making each day as bright as possible, my awesome friend Hayden, be proud of who you are Hayden and keep smiling, it’s so sweet to see that you are engaged to your fiancée/wife, hope your…[Read more]

    • I am so proud of your growth. Oh my word and CONGRATS on your engagement!!! WHOOO

    • Thank you so much, guys! <3

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    Hayden posted an update 9 months, 4 weeks ago

    It’s been nearly 3 years, guys! Holy hell!

    My last post hit me like a wall of bricks when I went to see what I’d last vented about. My father had been caught cheating on my mother. That was a year of utter HELL.

    Some life updates. My father, who I had a pretty strained relationship with, passed away almost 2 years ago due to a massive stroke.…[Read more]

    • It’s great to see you back on BT, my awesome friend @devilndisguise, I’m so sorry about the various losses that have happened in the past few years to you Hayden, even if you didn’t have a good relationship with some of your family members, try to remember all the good and happy moments you spent with them if you can, I do hope you are in a more…[Read more]

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    Cecelia posted an update 10 months ago

    So many red flags. Instead of suffering in my own emotional turmoil and confusion, I should take it out creatively and productively.

    • Don’t let the red flags, turmoil and confusion break you down @invincible, I would do as you say sweetie, find activities to do where you can let out your thoughts, feelings and emotions, find things that are creative, productive and give you a sense of purpose sweetie, maybe something like writing, drawing, reading or photography, I’m sure you…[Read more]

    • Such a smart and kind way to deal with the situation! That shows a lot of emotional intelligence from you Cecelia. Although we should allow ourselves to feel every emotion, it’s not good to drown in them and let them consume us.

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    Cecelia posted an update 10 months ago

    Dreams of being lost in big, desert mountains while trying to hide.

    • Dreams can be extraordinarily odd, and have a misterious way of telling us what’s going on in our minds. I hope these dreams are not disturbing to you, and that they let you rest at night Cecelia ❤.

    • Your dreams may be trying to tell you something, perhaps that you are hiding from something and will need to confront it so things can and will get better @invincible, I don’t want to see you having dreams that are scary or disturbing sweetie, you deserve to be able to go to sleep at night comfortably with nothing but relaxation and rest on your…[Read more]

    • You both are so wise.

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    Cecelia posted an update 10 months ago

    For somebody I thought was my saviour — you sure make me do a whole lot of labour

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvU4xWsN7-A&vl=en

    • If our love died, would that be the worst thing?

    • You deserve someone who will always love, care, support and always be there for you unconditionally @invincible, while I agree that in a relationship, both parties have to do their part to make things work, it should not be left to you alone to do sweetheart, your partner should pull his weight too so you can have a stronger, long-lasting and…[Read more]

    • Such a well-written song.

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    Cecelia posted an update 10 months, 1 week ago

    Anxiety and Tension as FAMILY is involved. Nervous for him to get involved with mine, and he can’t understand why I criticize his.

    • Getting family involved can have both positives and negatives @invincible, if your family is supportive of your relationship, maybe they can help you find a solution where things work out positively for both yourself and your partner sweetie, but if not, it could just add more drama and make things worse, which you don’t need or want in your life…[Read more]

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    Cecelia posted an update 10 months, 1 week ago

    Ya how can I not go off on him and feel an utter mess when he has shown no display of respect for me and our relationship OR himself as an individual today, we need to talk but im at work and it shows i’m not ok rn. thank god today’s my friday for the week. ADD on top of that I’m on my period now with headache, menstrual & stomach cramps. Good…[Read more]

    • I’m sorry for coming off as aggressive and harsh, but I am NOT sorry for what I feel as it’s completely valid.

    • Please don’t apologise for how you feel @invincible, your partner really should treat you right, he should love, care, cherish, support and always be there for you sweetie, he should also take care of himself so he can feel better within himself and that will lead to your relationship becoming stronger and you both having more of a loving bond…[Read more]

    • thank you so much Oli, words can never express how grateful I am for you.

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    Cecelia posted an update 10 months, 2 weeks ago

    He doesn’t understand at all how hard it is for me because anytime I try I get knocked down, discouraged and no matter what no one shows any belief in me or respect that I can do it and when I do it – I get shit on.

    • Always follow your dreams, goals and aspirations @invincible, don’t let anyone or anything stand in the way of you achieving what you want in life beautiful angel Cecelia, anyone who tries to bring you down when you achieve great things isn’t worth your time sweetie, you deserve to be surrounded by those who will give you encouragement, support…[Read more]

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    Cecelia posted an update 10 months, 2 weeks ago

    I wish I was good enough. I found the root of this continuous feeling. It’s not just feeling good enough for the people around me, especially my boyfriend, but it’s the feeling of not feeling good enough for ME. Myself. Living for myself is not enough. Never has been. Crazy, because I know I’m capable and deserving – but changing your feeling…[Read more]

    • Please know you are good enough and you are worth it @invincible, remember to always be kind to yourself beautiful Cecelia and focus on making yourself feel positive, optimistic and happy mentally, emotionally and physically, please know your happiness matters and you truly deserve to have that in life Cecelia, also do focus on your wellbeing…[Read more]

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    Cecelia posted an update 10 months, 3 weeks ago

    Overwhelmed. Feeling like I’m too much.

    • What’s on your mind @invincible, please don’t feel overwhelmed, remember to be calm and find ways to ease your mind and put yourself in a relaxed and positive mindset sweetheart, take deep breathes and focus on making each day as brilliant as you can sweetie, do activities that make you smile and give you a sense of optimism, purpose and hope,…[Read more]

    • It’s one of the worst feelings to have. When you think you are too much, there’s nothing to convince you otherwise. Unfortunately, I know that feeling quite well. Cecelia, I just want you to know that you are enough. Never too less neither too much. Whenever you have that overwhelming feeling, try to remember that. You are an incredible fighter,…[Read more]

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    Cecelia posted an update 10 months, 3 weeks ago

    IDK I mean is it weird that he has his previous long term EXES in his phone saved as contacts open for them to text him and call, but he doesn’t want me keeping my male friends in my phone that I hardly even communicate with? Just doesn’t seem fair.. not about infidelity just respect and fairness… but whatever.

    • That’s not right at all @invincible, it sounds like he is trying to control you sweetie, who you can talk too, communicate with and who you can see, while being totally hypocritical, keeping previous exes as contacts for himself but restricting your right to contact male friends, you deserve a relationship that is truly open and honest beautiful…[Read more]

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    Cecelia posted an update 11 months ago

    I joined Blah when I was 15. On Sunday I turned 25. Wild.

    • Hope you had a wonderful birthday @invincible, remember to think of how far you have come beautiful angel Cecelia and know that you will make all your dreams, goals and aspirations come true Cecelia, I’m sure that in all the time you have been on BT that this community has helped to make you feel happier, remember so many people care about you…[Read more]

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    Cecelia posted an update 11 months, 3 weeks ago

    Up and down. With the draining, exhausted anxiety comes some exciting anxiety (good) and hope.

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    Cecelia posted an update 12 months ago

    Panic attacks every night this week. Now utter anxiety. Car trouble and feeling emotionally neglected.

    • Please try to find ways to put yourself at ease, relax and calm yourself mentally, emotionally and physically @invincible, don’t let anxiety break you down sweetie, take deep breathes, listen to the sounds of calmness and focus on putting yourself in a state of peace, happiness and positivity beautiful Cecelia, I hope you manage to get your car…[Read more]

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    Oli posted an update 1 year ago

    It’s all so hopeless. :(

    Mood : Depressed
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    Oli posted an update 1 year ago

    I just want to give up. :(

    Mood : Depressed
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    Cecelia posted an update 1 year ago

    Now that I have some creative and productive blocks opening up, and work is going OK rather than horridly — I am contemplating some aspects in my relationship. I could put my self down as everyone does as being ”overdramatic” or ”overthinking” — but I deserve to be heard and my concerns and questions legitimatized and taken seriously.

    • Oli replied 1 year ago

      You will overcome all the blocks and everything will work out amazingly for you @invincible, remember to stay positive and know you will make fantastic things happen beautiful angel Cecelia, keep working as hard as you can in your job but know your happiness and whether you are comfortable in the job should always come first sweetie, I would talk…[Read more]

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    Oli posted an update 1 year ago

    I’m so sad, things never work out for me, they always end up going badly no matter how hard I try. :(

    Mood : Depressed
    • I’m so sorry Oli, please don’t let a few bumps in the road discourage you from living up to your full potential. Unfortunately life sucks a lot – but you have endless support from us here – we all genuinely care about you and know that you will succeed in life and things will look up for you. Have the faith we all have in you – but it’s OK to…[Read more]

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    Cecelia posted an update 1 year ago

    My toxic boss got fired! So happy and relieved beyond belief! There is still toxicity deep within the company, so I will still be looking to leave – but I can do so without feeling like I’m gonna be sick everyday before & after work.

    • Oli replied 1 year ago

      That’s good to hear, you should be able to go to work feeling positive and ready to do your job to the best of your ability @invincible, I would find a job in a company where the culture is caring and where you feel truly happy and comfortable beautiful Cecelia, don’t let your former toxic boss sour you on finding a great job sweetie, I’m sure…[Read more]

    • thanks so much Oli ♥ SO much love to you!!

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    Cecelia posted an update 1 year ago

    overwhelmed and not happy right now. :/

    • Oli replied 1 year ago

      I don’t want to see you feeling overwhelmed and unhappy @invincible, you are such a special, lovely and beautiful angel who deserves true happiness, positivity and brightness in your life sweetie, what’s on your mind Cecelia?, don’t let the sad and difficult times get you down sweetheart, focus on all the things in life that make you smile and…[Read more]

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