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    finnian posted an update 2 years, 3 months ago

    following up on my last post. the girl i kissed on new year’s eve is now my girlfriend, and has been my girlfriend for almost 8 months. she makes me so happy, and i love every minute i get to spend with her. we’re moving in with each other soon, after i heal a little more from my surgery. which brings me on to my next point: i got top surgery!!!…[Read more]

    Mood : Relaxed
    • It’s great to see that things are going positively for you @peiyopei, I’m happy for you Finnian, hope your loving relationship with your girlfriend continues going strong and your surgery goes well Finnian, keep smiling and remember you are awesome, feel free to inbox me anytime if you want to chat or vent, stay strong, you are never alone :) (hugs)

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    finnian posted an update 3 years, 3 months ago

    i know i posted not that long ago being real emo and shit but something really cool happened. on new year’s eve, it was one of my coworkers birthday and i was invited to a little get together (all people i see 5 days out of 7 so no need to hound me about the virus) it was only about 5 of us and it was actually a lot of fun. towards the end it…[Read more]

    • Awwww that’s so cute, sweet and adorable @peiyopei, hope this relationship continues going strong for both of you Finnian, hopefully this will become a serious romantic relationship for you or a very close friendship, remember to always communicate, be open and honest with each other, I wish you all the best Finnian, feel free to inbox me anytime…[Read more]

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    finnian posted an update 3 years, 4 months ago

    it’s been over a year since i checked in on here. weird. seeing how far i’ve come but also how far i haven’t. i’ve been having very strong urges for starting over. i want to cut relations and leave them behind but i can’t they mean too much to me. sometimes i wonder what it will take for me to finally go through with it. whatever it is. as much as…[Read more]

    Mood : Afraid
    • You should be proud of yourself for what you’ve accomplished thus far, but to do more I believe all you need is a little push. I hope you’ll meet new people who let you see the joy and fulfilment in life; people who motivate you to become better. In the meantime, I’m here to support you in your journey to recovery!

    • I agree with @flameaura, you should be so proud of how far you have come and how much you have accomplished @peiyopei, do stay positive and remember to focus on making all your dreams come true and finding happiness in life Finnian, you will find your path in life Finnian, you will meet new people who will show you compassion and love, your…[Read more]

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    finnian posted an update 4 years, 8 months ago

    im sad, what else is new
    I can barely eat anymore
    I’ve already lost 10 pounds
    I can’t get on my medication because insurance, doctors, appointments, and work are all cluster fucked. Everything seems so impossible right now.
    I am alone. I am always alone.
    I need a friend. I need someone. I wish I wasn’t so alone. I don’t know what’s wrong with me,…[Read more]

    • Please don’t feel sad @peiyopei, everything will be OK and things will work out for you Finnian, do eat, stay healthy and take care of yourself, I want to see you smiling and surrounding yourself with love, positivity and hope Finnian, I don’t want to ever see you feeling alone, you are amongst friends in this community Finnian, everyone on BT…[Read more]

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    finnian posted an update 4 years, 11 months ago

    i have been having very strong urges to self harm again. I want to so badly. I haven’t felt this bad in a long time. I feel so empty. Nothing matters to me anymore right now. I need to do something to distract myself but nothing is working. I really just want to be held but I don’t have anybody ever I’m so alone I hate it hate it hate it hate it
    I…[Read more]

    • Please don’t harm yourself @peiyopei, you are such a fantastic, awesome and special person who deserves to feel positive and happy, do surround yourself with things that bring a smile to your face Finnian, distract yourself with activities that make you upbeat and keep you busy, please don’t feel lonely, everyone deserves compassionate friends…[Read more]

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    finnian posted an update 4 years, 11 months ago

    really truly my life is going back to shit and why wouldn’t it
    I had to leave my clinic job, I miss them all so fucking much and I can’t return because I really fucked myself. I didn’t have a job for almost two months which sent me down this spiral of feeling totally worthless.
    My boyfriend is burning himself , I can’t fuxking stand that shit. It…[Read more]

    • Please don’t let life’s struggles get you down @peiyopei, things will work out for you Finnian and everything will be OK, I’m sure you will find another job or you may get your clinic job back, try to stay positive and surround yourself with happiness, do look after yourself mentally, emotionally and physically Finnian, take care of yourself…[Read more]

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    finnian posted an update 5 years, 3 months ago

    hi hi, i did something kinda,,, bad and I am sorry. but i love my bf. is it too soon to say it?? i cna feel my lips trying to push it out and in some instances i just want to fucking squeeze him and tell him that he means everything to me, truly. at least in this moment he does, and i hope he continues to be for a long time. he’s so sweet, so…[Read more]

    • I would tell your boyfriend how you feel @peiyopei, let him know you care about him so much and want to strengthen your relationship, I’m sure he loves you back just as equally Finnian, be as honest and open with him as you can, hope everything works out, inbox me anytime if you want to chat or vent, stay strong, you are never alone :) (hugs)

    • It’s fantastic to read that you feel so happy by your partner’s side, @peiyopei! Let him know that you love him, and how great he makes you feel. I’m sure he loves you back the same! Stay awesome!

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    finnian posted an update 5 years, 4 months ago

    In the past two months my life has drastically improved.
    I’ve met someone who actually lives with me now (it’s a personal reason why), and now we’re kinda dating?? It’s so weird but I feel very comfortable with him and I never thought I’d able to just fall back into a relationship so easily. I have been single for a long time and I think…[Read more]

    • It’s great to see you happy and in a wonderful relationship with your partner @peiyopei, you are truly a fantastic person who deserves all the best Finnian, hope everything continues going awesomely for you, I’m sure you will manage to see a doctor, always look after yourself, keep going forward and never give up, you can do it Finnian, inbox me…[Read more]

    • It’s lovely that you are in a nice relationship, and that you feel comfortable with your partner, @peiyopei! I know you’ll manage to make and appointment with your doctor; gather strenght and take time, you’ll do it! I hope everything continues going as good for you. Keep fighting and don’t give up, you are awesome!

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    finnian posted an update 5 years, 7 months ago

    also, getting back into the dating game is hard. I’m so… Awkward. I really need companionship I’ve noticed. I’m starting to feel rather lonely, which is no fun.
    I need to connect to someone, to relate. I need that. My mind has been so blank lately. Work help keep me occupied, and my online friends also help… But I need real life…[Read more]

    • I know how you feel @peiyopei, I get lonely too Finnian, it can be so depressing and sad, don’t give up on finding compassionate and kind people, you will find someone to connect and bond with, go out into the world and spread your personality around, you will meet your soulmate one day Finnian, stay positive and never give up, you can do it,…[Read more]

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    finnian posted an update 5 years, 7 months ago

    today has been long. the past couple of months actually. my nose hurts, I got bit to shit today by a fluffy cloud dog. I can’t be mad at her though, she was scared. And seeing her tail wag when she saw her mom, it made my heart warm. Dogs are so interesting. The way their personalities differ. Like people, but barbaric. Hm.
    anyways, for the past…[Read more]

    Mood : Hungry
    • Awww, I’m sorry that you were bitten by a dog @peiyopei, do be careful when you are trying to stroke them, they are still cute though hehe, hope taking medication helps and benefits you Finnian, you are a good person who deserves happiness, positivity and joy in life, keep seeing your doctor and find ways to help you overcome the anxiety, you can…[Read more]

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    finnian posted an update 5 years, 10 months ago

    news update with finn ヘ( ̄▽ ̄*)ノ
    - My job at the vet clinic is going rather well. I’m training to be a tech assistant (No, not a promotion or anything like that) which is pretty cool. It’s a lot to take in, a lot to remember, as well as do. But I’m still training and I’ll get it down soon. I’m trying to be more positive about this job. It…[Read more]

    • Glad things are going well for you @peiyopei, you truly deserve all the happiness that life has to offer Finnian, keep smiling because I’m sure things will continue going awesomely for you, do surround yourself with positivity and compassion, remember you are so loved, inbox me anytime if you want to chat or vent, stay strong, you are never alone…[Read more]

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    jimsonweed and Profile picture of marikomariko are now friends 6 years, 1 month ago

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    jimsonweed posted an update 6 years, 1 month ago

    I don’t understand how people who don’t know me ( but most likely mean well) and are still in high school know more about my physical and mental problems without ever speaking a word to me but merely reading a post

    Mood : Interested
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    jimsonweed posted an update 6 years, 1 month ago

    I don’t understand how people who don’t know me ( but most likely mean well) and are still in high school know more about my physical and mental problems without ever speaking a word to me but merely reading a post

    Mood : Interested
    • It’s nice that they care about you and want to see you happy @indeliblejimson, everyone deserves people around them who will support and be there for them during hard times, you do too, remember the BT community will always be here for you and so will I, inbox me anytime if you want to chat or vent, stay strong, you are never alone :) (hugs)

    • it is easier to understand people you don’t know

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    jimsonweed posted an update 6 years, 1 month ago

    I really need someone to talk to. Just putting the word out. I’m depressed lonely and starting not to care again. I wish someone would care with me….

    Mood : Embarrassed
    • Please don’t feel lonely, sad and depressed @indeliblejimson, the BT community cares about you and so do I, you are a wonderful person who deserves to feel happy, upbeat and positive, surround yourself with all the things that bring hope, purpose and joy into your life, hold your head up high and make each day as bright and amazing as you can,…[Read more]

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    jimsonweed posted an update 6 years, 1 month ago

    Had a bad seizure on a bus going to visit my mom. I know that no one cares but. I almost got arrested cuz I crashed into a women, threw up on her and woke up with 2 EMTs and 3 cops around me. Very embarrassing

    Mood : Embarrassed
    • Please don’t feel embarrassed @indeliblejimson, do look after yourself and your health, do visit the doctors if you feel unwell at any point, you will be OK because so many people care about you and want to see you feeling awesome, inbox me anytime if you want to chat or vent about anything, stay strong, you are never alone :) (hugs)

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    finnian posted an update 6 years, 4 months ago

    wish i wasn’t so sleepy all the time. it’s getting to be… tiresome. hehe

    • Try to find ways to help yourself sleep at night so you can feel refreshed and awake in the morning @peiyopei, make a evening routine that is relaxing and soothing so you can fall asleep more easily, hope everything works out so you can rest when you need too, inbox me anytime if you want to chat or vent, stay strong, you are never alone :) (hugs)

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    finnian posted an update 6 years, 4 months ago

    Haven’t made a status in a bit so I’ll give you a quick little update on Finn’s life:
    - I am officially 1 year on hormones, wowza crAZY. I remember ranting on this site about wanting to transition so badly, I remember starting and everything was moving so slowly — But here I am, 1 whole year! I’m proud of my growth.
    - I got a new job!!! It’s…[Read more]

    Mood : Distracted
    • Glad things are working out for you @peiyopei, you are such a fabulous person who deserves all the best in life, hope everything continues going well, stay positive, keep smiling because your future will be so bright and amazing, inbox me anytime if you want to chat or vent, stay strong, you are never alone :) (hugs)

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    finnian joined the group Group logoI don’t know who I am anymore. 6 years, 5 months ago

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    finnian posted an update 6 years, 6 months ago

    my anxiety and depression is starting to get out of hand.
    I’m going to see my doctor in November. I think I’m going to talk to her about these issues I’m having in hopes that maybe she can prescribe me something, anything to make these feelings go away. My mother has always tried to force natural medicines and coping mechanisms, and I’m…[Read more]

    • @peiyopei is not just because she’s nice and cares, this type of medicine has HUGE side effects. I take medication for my anxiety, is called Rivotril. Yes, does the job, but I don’t wish the side effects on anyone. It triggers super bad thoughts, I’m talking about me breaking down, anger issues, suicidal thoughts.

      Depression medication can…[Read more]

    • I agree with @marikofujimoto, do talk to your doctor and see what happens @peiyopei, I’m sure you will find the right support and help for you, may it be medication, counselling or therapy, don’t let depression and anxiety get you down, remember to hold your head up high and always keep fighting because brighter days are ahead for you, stay…[Read more]

    • Thank you Mariko, and Oli. I’ll take that all into consideration. Do hope my doc will lead me in the right direction, though I know she will – she’s a very good doctor and person in general. Guess we’ll see when the appt. comes around.

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