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    MidnightSarrow posted an update 14 minutes ago

    Relationship : with someone and happy. Only been for three days tho and his compliments never cease creativity. Still afraid of messing something but but he says he wants to marry me. He’s been waiting for me and has loved me forever. And has made it obvious but still.

    Made it three days without troubles, here we go. Let’s see how much longer, yes?

    Mood : Amazed
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    MidnightSarrow and Profile picture of The Ghost of NobodyThe Ghost of Nobody are now friends 6 hours, 57 minutes ago

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    MidnightSarrow posted a new activity comment 1 day, 7 hours ago

    In reply to: MidnightSarrow posted an update Is it normal to feel numb starting anti-depressants?? And for that matter thoughtless, not that I cared for the thoughts I have but I can’t enjoy some of the stuff I used to without them View

    Maybe– but too try convincing my mom of that. I dont even know the dose I’m getting

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    MidnightSarrow posted a new activity comment 2 days, 2 hours ago

    In reply to: MidnightSarrow posted an update Is it normal to feel numb starting anti-depressants?? And for that matter thoughtless, not that I cared for the thoughts I have but I can’t enjoy some of the stuff I used to without them View

    Well I don’t exactly have a doctor– we apparently missed ”too many appointments” so we can only go in as walk in ig.
    They aren’t really anti depressants but there to just help mental health i think i forget the brand.

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    MidnightSarrow posted a new activity comment 2 days, 9 hours ago

    In reply to: MidnightSarrow posted an update Is it normal to feel numb starting anti-depressants?? And for that matter thoughtless, not that I cared for the thoughts I have but I can’t enjoy some of the stuff I used to without them View

    I didn’t get anti depressants from my doctor– don’t have one to prescribe them. But my therapist did a test for me and suggested we get them. But there’s just a strong mental numbness when I take them

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    MidnightSarrow posted an update 2 days, 22 hours ago

    Is it normal to feel numb starting anti-depressants?? And for that matter thoughtless, not that I cared for the thoughts I have but I can’t enjoy some of the stuff I used to without them

    • Anti-depressants do have side effects @midnightsarrow, I would check with your doctor to see what can be done to help and support you, I would only take medication if it truly helps you and makes you feel better and happier, everything will be OK, keep going and never give up, you can do it, feel free to inbox me anytime if you want to chat or…[Read more]

    • I didn’t get anti depressants from my doctor– don’t have one to prescribe them. But my therapist did a test for me and suggested we get them. But there’s just a strong mental numbness when I take them

    • Seeing your comment, I worry you’re taking the wrong approach to this. Even if a therapist recommended you try antidepressants, you shouldn’t take any medication not prescribed to you. The numbness could be from taking an antidepressant that’s not good for you, which a prescribing doctor would be able to help you with. If you haven’t already,…[Read more]

    • Well I don’t exactly have a doctor– we apparently missed ”too many appointments” so we can only go in as walk in ig.
      They aren’t really anti depressants but there to just help mental health i think i forget the brand.

    • Well, @midnightsarrow, it sounds to me like the dosage is too high. I speak from experience (I’m medicated for depression and anxiety, and when the dosage got too high, I experienced a state of “f*ck everything” because I lost all motivational anxiety. Sounds similar.) It also sounds like you could be experiencing something like a lack of your…[Read more]

    • Maybe– but too try convincing my mom of that. I dont even know the dose I’m getting

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    MidnightSarrow posted an update 3 days, 1 hour ago

    Some of my depression is okay– went to counselor irl and we did a depression test. I know it came out as severe (56+ means severe i scored 57) but the fact that the cry that’s been left unheard was heard because now my mom knows what I’m struggling with

    Mood : Thankful
    • Glad that you went to see a counsellor @midnightsarrow, I’m sure talking to someone about your thoughts, feelings and emotions will help you to feel happier, do share how you feel with your mother, counsellor and those you trust, remember the BT community will always be here for you too and so will I, remember to always be kind to yourself and…[Read more]

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    MidnightSarrow posted a new activity comment 3 days, 1 hour ago

    In reply to: MidnightSarrow posted an update Welp. Finally got him to hate me, I almost hope. But it hurts. It hurts a lot. I feel like he wants nothing to do with me now. He was online and didn’t answer me. Part of me is […] View

    I’m not a survivor. Still a fighter. And it won’t get better, at least not now. I do feel alone, and it’s not a feeling I care about.
    I’m not a wonderful person, I’m always acting mean and respond cruelly. The only part of that that makes it semi okay is how much i apologize, just not out
    loud

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    MidnightSarrow posted an update 3 days, 4 hours ago

    Welp. Finally got him to hate me, I almost hope. But it hurts. It hurts a lot. I feel like he wants nothing to do with me now. He was online and didn’t answer me. Part of me is hoping he just didn’t get a notification.
    I was in pain last night- physical pain. And I was so upset that I couldn’t sleep. So I’m really tired now but I didn’t want…[Read more]

    Mood : Afraid
    • He should love you because you are truly a wonderful, special and amazing person @midnightsarrow, hopefully he will respond to you, try to stay positive and take care of yourself, I want to see you feeling truly happy, upbeat and fantastic, do stay healthy and always be kind to yourself, things will get better for you and great things will happen…[Read more]

    • I’m not a survivor. Still a fighter. And it won’t get better, at least not now. I do feel alone, and it’s not a feeling I care about.
      I’m not a wonderful person, I’m always acting mean and respond cruelly. The only part of that that makes it semi okay is how much i apologize, just not out
      loud

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    MidnightSarrow posted a new activity comment 1 week, 2 days ago

    In reply to: MidnightSarrow posted an update Grandma was saying that everyday is like ”a fresh start” and if something bad happened yesterday today blows it all away and I’m just thinking ”I have several days where i can prove […] View

    Perfect is not the word I’d use to describe myself. I try to do that, try to be happy. It’s hard to do when days seem to repeat

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    MidnightSarrow posted an update 1 week, 2 days ago

    Grandma was saying that everyday is like ”a fresh start” and if something bad happened yesterday today blows it all away and I’m just thinking ”I have several days where i can prove that untrue.”

    Mood : Crappy
    • Don’t let bad days get you down @midnightsarrow, I would take your grandmother’s words and use them to brighten up all the wonderful days that lie ahead for you, things will get better for you and everything will be OK, hold your head up high and know you are truly fantastic and perfect in every way, keep going forward with confidence, believe in…[Read more]

    • Perfect is not the word I’d use to describe myself. I try to do that, try to be happy. It’s hard to do when days seem to repeat

    • i know exactly what you’re saying, @midnightsarrow. i think what your gma meant is that you should try to make each day as good as you can. if you mess it up, just focus on the next hour, and go hour by hour. if you don’t, see how you can make the week as good as you can, and then the month, and then the year, etc. eventually itll get better.…[Read more]

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    MidnightSarrow posted a new activity comment 1 week, 4 days ago

    In reply to: MidnightSarrow posted an update K so how to tell the kid that has a crush on me that i could get the thought at any moment of killing him if i suspect he’s doing anything bad? (cheating type stuff) Welp lets […] View

    Oh no, he wont hurt me i’m afraid i’ll hurt him

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    MidnightSarrow changed their profile picture 1 week, 5 days ago

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    MidnightSarrow posted an update 1 week, 5 days ago

    K so how to tell the kid that has a crush on me that i could get the thought at any moment of killing him if i suspect he’s doing anything bad? (cheating type stuff)
    Welp lets figure it out

    Mood : Stressed
    • Please don’t think bad thoughts @midnightsarrow, I would tell him that you want a strong and loving relationship with him and you don’t want him to ever hurt you, everything will be OK, stay positive and keep going forward, you can do it, inbox me anytime if you want to chat or vent, stay strong, you are never alone :) (hugs)

    • Oh no, he wont hurt me i’m afraid i’ll hurt him

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    MidnightSarrow posted a new activity comment 1 week, 5 days ago

    In reply to: MidnightSarrow posted an update All the talk about the gun violence problems. . it’s starting to resurface the thoughts I hate and it’s giving me a headaches. Anybody can talk with this to help me or know a site I […] View

    not just bad thoughts but thanks–

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    MidnightSarrow posted an update 1 week, 6 days ago

    All the talk about the gun violence problems. . it’s starting to resurface the thoughts I hate and it’s giving me a headaches. Anybody can talk with this to help me or know a site I could go to?

    Mood : Stressed
    • Please don’t let bad thoughts get you down @midnightsarrow, try to not focus on things that are triggering and make you feel upset, you are such a fantastic person who deserves to shine and feel fantastic, I want to see you smiling and feeling on top of the world, stay upbeat, do relax and find ways to clear your mind, hold your head up high and…[Read more]

    • not just bad thoughts but thanks–

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    MidnightSarrow posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 1 day ago

    In reply to: MidnightSarrow posted an update So what’s up? Havent been online awhile View

    Thanks, most things are going okay yes :)
    Hope you’re doing okay too !!

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    MidnightSarrow posted an update 2 weeks, 1 day ago

    So what’s up? Havent been online awhile

    Mood : Distracted
    • It’s great to see you back on BT @midnightsarrow, hope you are OK and everything is going well in your life, feel free to inbox me anytime if you ever need to chat or vent, stay awesome and keep smiling, stay strong, you are never alone :) (hugs)

    • Thanks, most things are going okay yes :)
      Hope you’re doing okay too !!

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    MidnightSarrow posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 6 days ago

    In reply to: MidnightSarrow became a registered member View

    Thanks!

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    MidnightSarrow became a registered member 3 weeks, 6 days ago