Granted, but you have to give one to everyone named Steve that you know.
I wish the honeybees would stop dying.
They are dying? why?
I wish the guy outside would stop mowing the fucking lawn at 7 am, I am trying to sleep.
I think they think it is a parasite… Not good for the food supply as they do all the pollinating.
Granted. But he has a tree to cut down with a chainsaw.
I wish I was independently wealthy.
Granted. But you give all your money to charity.
I wish my laundry would do itself.
Granted, but you get so freaked out by your laundry turning itself on, that you move to Tahiti where you spend the rest of your days naked and afraid of clothes.
I wish I was invisible.
Granted. But professor Snape knows your secret
I wish I were in heaven
Granted. But you are surprised it is in New Jersey.
I wish I was an astronaut.
Granted. You WERE an astronaut.
I wish the Pina colada song came true for me
Ummm. The vacuum of space hears no screams…
I have mixed feelings about the pina colada song. In some ways it is a romantic renewal. In other ways it is the story of falling out of love with someone who you should have been crazy over to begin with. But hey – it worked out in the end! Here’s to love, wherever we can find it – Granted.
I wish there were no addictions.
Granted. But with that love for things in general also decreases, and the world is a less passionate place.
I wish I could sing REALLY well
Granted, unfortunately you specialize in Himalayan throat singing. The goats appreciate it.
I wish the colour I see as blue, was actually named red.
Granted. You’re colourblind and dyslexic.
I wish I had a farm
Granted. But you develop strange frtishes because you are durrounddd by animals in heat.
I wish that little brat would get gum stuck in her hair.
Granted. Now you have to shave your dog.
I wish someone would sing to me
Granted. Poo what’s his name sings lullaby love while rowing you around a glacial lake. He goes to make a move on you… turns out he is a clumsy ass and he falls overboard and dies of hyperthermic drowning. You can’t save him because you are too cold. The scene where Jack dies in Titanic is on an eternal loop in your brain.