 Passing Stranger
195 QA Reputation0 | Madrat said 9 years, 7 months ago: I have multiple friends with social anxiety. I want to be good friends to them, I’m honoured to be their friends when they have such difficulties. I really do need some help though, are there specific things I should or shouldn’t do to make our friendship a bit easier, or to help them out in other situations? They find it hard to talk about, which is understandable, so I’m asking here for anyone who has social anxiety or knows someone with it if there’s any advice they can share to help me and them. | |
 Passing Stranger
150 QA Reputation0 | LifeisPeachy said 9 years, 7 months ago: Everyone is different, obviously. Some have it far more severely than others do, and that can play a big role when it comes to your interactions with them. I know a lady who is too scared to go grocery shopping when she needs to. I myself can keep it together pretty well, but I still have my moments. Anyway.. I find it a lot easier to talk to someone online, that is why I joined this website. Knowing that people aren’t looking at me, and that I don’t physically have to speak.. it helps. I find myself able to say things I normally wouldn’t dare otherwise. People with social anxiety feel like they are being judged, so it is often not even a good idea to bring it up in conversation. If they start it, that is one thing. When they do, I suggest letting them talk. Try relating to them, think of a time you were really nervous, and maybe share that. It makes me feel better knowing someone can relate to how I feel, it helps me speak about my own situation with ease. Well, just my input. I don’t know many people with social anxiety, so it is all mainly from my own stand point. Good luck with your friends! You sound like a great one as it is, willing to do research on their behalf. | |
 Passing Stranger
183 QA Reputation0 | Ashley said 9 years, 6 months ago: That you’re looking for help understanding is a good indicator that you’re trying, which helps a lot. Personally, I find it difficult to initiate contact or suggest things, so you may have to do that a lot with them. If they are the ones who are reaching out, they’re either better at than me, or they’re putting honest effort into it, so maybe keep that in mind? I dunno, honestly. In my group of friends, I’m the one with social anxiety. Keep in mind that they might be uncomfortable in places with lots of people? Or just suggest doing stuff places they’re either very comfortable with or where there’s not going to be many people, especially very few people they actually have to interact with. I hope this helps! | |
 Passing Stranger
283 QA Reputation10 | ShadowGX said 9 years, 6 months ago: Basically what LifeisPeachy said. I’m pretty similar. I have a very hard time speaking my mind irl, especially in emotional situations. Text gives me a lot of time to plan out my responses (which at this point is something I require when dealing with highly emotional situations). I can take hours or even days if truly needed with text. That’s not a luxury people get irl or through voice chats, so above all I think anyone with social anxiety can agree with this: be patient, understanding, and don’t push for certain responses. Personally, I also ask that people come at me with an open mind, especially if communicating with me via voice or face to face, because I do tend to verbally say odd/questionable things I don’t always mean when I feel emotional, rushed, or like I need to respond, or I’ll say too little forgetting to include context or reasoning and it will come off wrong. If something they say is questionable, perhaps just ask them to explain what they mean and you may find out they meant almost the exact opposite of what it first sounded like if they’re like me… | |
 Passing Stranger
148 QA Reputation0 | Katastrophe said 9 years, 5 months ago: I have social anxiety and my friends know. I like it when we are out in public and they help me out. If we go out to eat they might help me order my food. If someone asks me a question and I cant answer they step in and help. I agree that it’s easier to text or talk online. Just try to understand their situation and how severe it is and try to help them out. | |
 Passing Stranger
254 QA Reputation2 | canvasation said 9 years, 5 months ago: For me, if I need to talk about my social anxiety to a friend then I will, only if I feel safe and secure about talking to that friend. One way to give that feeling of security to them is just by simply letting them know you’re there for them, keeping their secrets, not pushing them to talk about it, ect. | |
 Familiar Face
2698 QA Reputation1728 | sylph-dancer said 9 years, 5 months ago: Those of us with social anxiety can, obviously, become very nervous in any sort of social situation. I am proud that you are willing to be there for all of your friends, regardless of how difficult that may be. Please remember that if any of them continuously ask you questions like “Do you hate me?” or “Am I annoying you?”, it’s not because they forgot they’ve asked you that multiple times or that they don’t believe you, it’s because their mind is telling them to doubt themselves. Social anxiety is fear, and it can run very deep and make people not only afraid, but depressed as well. Don’t be surprised if you have difficulties getting things out of them or getting them to hang out–it’s likely they feel that they have nothing to say or that things will just get awkward, rather than disinterest. You can never have too few reassuring words. You may also want to learn how to help calm someone down from an anxiety attack, in cases of more severe social anxiety. That way you can be there for them if something happens and they start to panic. Hope this helps. Good luck. | |
