In reply to: Fantastic writer posted an update I thought letting you go would help.. Instead it hurts knowing that you’ll never come back. It hurts knowing that i can’t hug you or see your face. I always thought a nightmare […] View
im here for you okay? you dont have to feel forgotten anymore.
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In reply to: Savannah posted an update No one cares. No one. View
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In reply to: ThisIsWar208 posted an update well, i guess i am not sleeping again tonight, school is wayy to stressful haha View
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In reply to: Hawk posted an update Just had a great listening session with someone trying to figure out their gender identity. They were fairly certain they were trans, and so I got to help them just understand that being who […] View
I have been in a relationship that devastated me. Here it is. Straight from the notebook. DAY1:Why? What could I have done diffrently? She left me for some guy. I loved her, and she loved me. I made drawing and art for her but in the long run… It didnt matter. She did it while we where dating. I prayed for her every night. Me and her are in a healthy long distance realationship, well. A better Choice of words would be "where" in a long distance realationship. I'm going to keep all my regrets and sorrows kept in this notepad. She says, and I say that we are going to get together agan when we are 15. so We don have to wait that long to get my drivers license to go see her. But how could she be so easily stolen from me? I't didnt help when i saw her cocky assed boyfreind on facebook publicly sharing their feelings with eachother. How could she be so insensitive to the people that have done so mutch for her and then she throw me away. Dose she even care about my pain when I see her and that guy together? Well, all I do now is listen to my music and checking facebook, looking for a purpose, FOR SOMETHING…
DAY2: Ive seen something I wish I had never seen in my lifetime. I was on facebook and this Harley Wheeler guy and Bayley (my Girlfreind, better word ex) are pretty serios. They expressed their love openly on facebook. I scrolled down to see the words that peirced my hollowed heart "Bayley Stoker And Harley Wheeler are in a relationship." It feels like im going to have a mini heart attack or something. This guy from his name seems like a narcissistic asshole for a guy that was named purley of the Harley Daveson motorcycle brand. Ive seen his face, he looks like the guy every styriotypical guy on earth wants to look like. It feels as if i had my heart ripped out. If it wasent already dead, ITS DEAD NOW.
A LITTLE OVER TWO WEEKS:I'm done with her. Im over her. If she realy loved me, she would have stayed with me. I dont care about what she dose. I never want to see her agan. If I where to see her agan, I dont think i could take it. She is posting 50 posts per hour 24/7 on facebook about her realation -ship. I've gotten to where im afraid to check my facebook. At this point I feel as if I cant feel at all. I'm not going to live in the past and wait for her. I have found someone that I like and hopefuly that "like" will form into an healthy relationship. I DONT CARE FOR THAT LAIR.
3 DAYS LATER:I feel emptye. I just dont seem to care anymore. I'm going to have to be pretty down or low to ever take her back. Our money problem seems to be picking up. My father seems happy. I am scared. Listening to music like Phenomenon by Hacride seems to help. It may be hard rock but it makes me feel better. These entries are getting shorter. I can't wait to be able to put this section of my life behinde me. Noone knows what happened or how I feel exempt one of my good freinds Lily Tucker. Everyone else thinks Im normal as always. But Ive been wearing this mask for some time now. I just dont want my familiy and freinds to feel one of the two feelings, Disipointment, or to Worrie about me. It's Thanksgiving break so luckily I dont have to got to school for a week. I think if I didnt have a break soon I was going to, well break. I hope I get to see my sister. I havent seen her for an year and a half now. She is in the navy so she is coming home for Christmas soon. But she will have to back out of the navy cause she has an akward curbiture of her spine. You cant see it with the naked eye but you can with an x-ray. I feel bad and happy at the same time. She's coming home but she's not getting to do what she wants to do. But she said when she gets out, they might have a place for her in the FBI. All I can realy do now is sit infront of my compputer. I wanna hang out with freinds and get a girlfreind and have a job! But never the less I have an volenteer job at price hardware but no pay. But thats not the point. I feel trapt and stuck. It feels if im chained to this small room of mine and can see what lies behind the window of my own house, paying job, familiy, and freinds. This world is plagued and riddled with pain, regret, life, death, and sorrow. But this is the generation I was chosen to be born in. One day I will break. And that day, that day I will lose the mask and say what I realy feel. To my freinds, Familiy, and teachers. THEY WILL NOT LIKE HOW I FEEL.
im here for you okay? you dont have to feel forgotten anymore.