Calvin said 9 years, 6 months ago:

This isn’t exactly sexuality.
My best friend recently told me he is transgendered.
It got me thinking.
I have a male body and I know I’m more or less pansexual, but…
I don’t feel particularly strongly male.
I don’t feel strongly female.
Or both. Or a specific third thing.
I feel like if I was born with a female body, I would have been okay with that. It wouldn’t feel horrible to switch now either, if it was that easy. But I’m also okay with my current body. Like. It’s alright. I’m just about content.

Is there a word for this?

Jess said 9 years, 6 months ago:

You might possible be a non-binary gender- so neither boy or girl. Just like bisexuality is in between gay or straight, and pansexuality is both essentially, there are genders between boy and girl. There are many non-binary genders but their meanings often change in accordance to how people who identify with them feel, so don’t quote me, but these are how I understand them right now:

Agender – Having no gender. Not a girl, not a boy, not even a mix of both. Purely genderless. Just human.

Genderqueer – Somewhere between girl and boy. Usually fixed. OR Neither boy or girl but still have a gender.

Genderfluid – Somewhere between girl and boy that often changes. So you could feel 75% feminine and 25% masculine one day and 45% feminine and 65% masculine the next.

Androgynous – Both girl and boy at the same time.

Bi-gender- Both girl and boy, but at different times. Varying between the two.

By what you shared, you sound like you could possibly be genderfluid. Your gender isn’t quite boy or girl and it can change- and it’s totally okay that it does change.

I’m sorry if I overwhelm you with all of the names, but once you get your head around them it will help you understand yourself better and help you decide how, if any, you want to identify as.

I hope this helps

Caity said 9 years, 6 months ago:

Jess is pretty much right as far as definitions go. However, I think ‘genderqueer’ simply means someone with an atypical gender. From what you’ve said, it sounds like you fall somewhere outside of the gender binary, which is the typical dichotomy of strictly male or female. I personally identify as bigender, which means sometimes I feel strongly female, ad sometimes strongly male (Though I typically feel more of somewhere in the middle, a neutral or grey zone if you will) and switch between the two genders either unconsiously or at will. (Which is actually ore useful than it sounds.)However, bigender does not only mean male and female. It could for example be male and agender. From what o said, it sounds lie you may be genderfluid or androgenous. However, it is important to remember that you are the only one at can determine you gender and that no one else an tell you for certain. I hope could help. Message me if you ever want to talk. :-)

mysterymama27 said 9 years, 6 months ago:

Dear Calvin,
Everyone has their problems and their thoughts. Yours I may add is not anything new. If you were born a male but don’t feel strong as either gender then it doesn’t make you different. If you feel you should of been born with female features then you can be more then welcome to look into transgender treatments.It doesn’t make you weird just unique.
truly yours,
mysterymama

bay laurel said 9 years, 6 months ago:

i also like to say i’m “apathetic” about my gender, haha! i feel pretty much the exact same way.

you may also look into the term “neutrois”, which is what i found suited me best. i also like simply “gender neutral”. i am not bigender, and i’m definitely not genderless. and i don’t like the term “genderqueer”, personally. i’m simply somewhere in the middle of the gender spectrum.

if you tend toward one end of the spectrum, but not fully, there’s “demigirl” and “demiguy”. then you could ask if you want to use different pronouns, and how you wanna express your gender identity through dress, etc. being nonbinary is cool. i wish i could be more “out” about it without people probably laughing at me. but since i’m apathetic about the whole thing as i said, i’m cool with just mostly keeping it to myself and anonymous online chats, haha.

GlasgowGrins said 9 years, 6 months ago:

Sounds just like me, I am a pansexual genderfluid person. I think genderfluidity fits best because it is not one set gender, it includes everyone and changes based on how you feel. So if one day you feel more feminine you can be a girl, or masculine you can be a boy. You can be a mix of the two, or neither. I think it’s best for people who do not see their gender as one set thing, just like water (fluid) it is constantly changing based on the situation or how you feel that particular day/week/month/ect.

Calvin said 9 years, 6 months ago:

I really appreciate all the responses.

Rowan said 9 years, 6 months ago:

I have a child who is agender, and a child who is gender fluid. Seeing the difference in them…My agender child simply doesn’t care about gender – it it not a factor which influences their life in any way. They would be exactly the same no matter when biological sex they were born. They don’t particularly identify with roles or ways of dress associated with one gender or the other.

My gender fluid child, on the other hand, really “enjoys” gender – they play with gender roles and make gender their own. One day they are in girl mode, and the next they are in full-on boy mode with baseball cap, chain wallet, and high tops. It’s amazing how different they are from each other when many people would assume agender and gender fluid are similar.

What’s important is not the label or term you choose to define yourself by. What’s important is being accepting of yourself and celebrating your uniqueness as a human being. Your identity may also evolve over time – so that what/who you are now may not be who you are in ten years. And that’s okay too! Life is a learning curve – and we keep on learning about ourselves and the world right up to the end. That’s what makes it a fun (and sometimes challenging) journey.

Ty said 9 years, 4 months ago:

You’re right that it isn’t the easiest thing to go through any particular aspect of medical transition, but it’s also not the hardest thing either. What isn’t commonly known is that a binary gender identity isn’t required for hormone therapy. It sounds like you’re good with your body as it is but if things change over time, know that the World Professional Association of Transgender Health (www.wpath.org) explicitly states in version 7 of its guidelines that one doesn’t need to identity as male or female to start hormonal treatment. There isn’t only one way to be trans/genderqueer or only one narrative recognised by trans health experts. Take the time to figure out what this may or may not mean to you, and go from there.