Rosa said 10 years, 7 months ago:

Okay so I tried making one but idk if it posted lol. Ima try to get through everything as quickly as possible.
Everyone describes me as a funny, bubbly, happy, open minded,outgoing, kind, accepting person. But inside I have some dark thoughts. They don’t over power me but sometimes they do.It’s madd annoying lol.

Anyways, vegetarian (vegan after high school), pansexual, reformed jew, VERY open minded and don’t give a fudge about what most people say about me. For me that’s pretty much the key for getting through life as smoothly as possible. I have some bad anxiety though. My family doesn’t accept of my sexuality. Everything in America is made with fudging meat =_=, I used to get angry at everything and now I cry at everything.

There’s this dude unsuccessfully bullying me and my best friend on the bus and it’s annoying so I’m about to threaten his life lol,I can’t be in a serious relationship with any guy because they will always cheat like all the men in my family. Girls will cheat too but not as much as guys.

I hate the human race because they kill the environment. They also kill animals to make food that will clog your damn heart and ugly fur coats. Also,humans hurt each other. Always bullying each other and casting out the minority.

Why complain about suicide if you were the one on youtube talking about how bad someones voice is and that they should kill themselves?
Why complain about murder of you were the one munching down on a hamburger just on Tuesday? That hamburger was probably a mother cow that had her baby taken away from her so that it can be injected with stupid genetic crap.
Why complain about how hot it is if your the one smoking in the corner. Most humans are hypocrites and think they’re better that the rest of the world. Animals don’t matter, the environment doesn’t matter. For them nothing matters but me, myself, and I.

But I try to keep that stuff out my head lol.

I’m failing all my classes. So I feel like I wouldn’t be able to get into college so then I wouldn’t be able to become the person I want to be. Can’t trust anyone anymore because I have had some fake ass friends and like every single guy I know has cheated on their GF.

Have to take care of my hoodrat sister. Have to deal with my parents judging my views. Can never live up to anyone’s expectations, even my own. I feel insignificant, and that I don’t matter.

I can never let go of my past so everything is just building and building and my emotions have been getting much stronger. I’m going to explode. I care too damn much about everything.

I’m bipolar as hell, first im happy, then I’m sad, then I dont give a fudge.
Like one minute I think “I should die, what’s life worth? Humans are evil, and I am going nowhere in life.” but then i think, “wait what am I thinking? I’m worth something. I’m one of the little bit of people that care and a corrupt world like this needs me to help.” then I think “like I’d make a difference in such a big place” then I think “there’s a possibility I can make a change. HOPE!”

The only way I feel content is by helping other people or animals. I feel like I’m worth something. Like my life matters for something. I’m looking into stuff for helping the environment and other people, and animals.

If i ever get depressed the way I used to be then I don’t want to live anymore. I’ll see gray. Everything will be gray.

When I’m happy everything is so colorful. I know it’s weird but everything is literally colorful when I’m happy and gray when I’m sad.

If I ever see gray again, I’d want to kill myself but I would probably never do it for the sake of God and my little brother.

At one point I let sadness overpower me. But I hope it doesn’t ever again.

I’m weird. But i love myself, and hate myself but mostly love. Because if God can love me then so can I.