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Roy said 9 years, 11 months ago:

Hi everyone,

As a foreigner living in China I met a girl from the US about 3 months ago that lives in HK. Because I live quite close to the border it is not too difficult to travel and meet up, which we did.

So… as soon as we first met, we hit it off and started talking on a daily basis. Everything went very smooth and my emotions for her started growing. We had many plans for everytime we saw each other and had great fun.

The first and second of May was a holiday for me so I came over to HK to visit her, she introduced me to her friends and they had all heard about me. So I was happy to hear that. That same night it was the first time we were also holding hands while walking through the city and I felt very loved. Those 2 days were great as usual and the small things that she reminded me of (e.g. I had to make her panncakes for breakfast) made me realize that this isn’t just a fling.

The second day after our time together (yesterday) she wrote me saying that it is not working out for her and that she tried making it work and feel right but it just didn’t. After that she wrote me the usual other stuff like… I was a great catch etc etc but she just didn’t feel “us” and she had figured that I had sensed that as well.

Now, my world is upside down and I do not know what to do. I am absolutely in love with this girl and something inside of me tells me that she most have felt something too when we were together because it is simply impossible to act all that.

I have no idea what to do, so I was hoping to find some advice here. I already told her that I have feelings for her. and we are still going to meet up in 3 weeks from now to get each others stuff back.

I am confused and would like to know what you people woulld do in my situation.
Thanks for reading

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elizabethfke12 said 9 years, 11 months ago:

hii.. can u please tell us whether she told u y she felt all this all of a sudden, out of the blue.. as in u werent pressurising her so why wont she gv it time?
and if she doesnt feel the spark..y did she go on fr 3 months etc?
i strongly feel there is some other reason than her simply stating there’s no spark..
try to tell us if u know or first ask her..

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Roy said 9 years, 11 months ago:

Hi,

I will qoute her reply: “Babe, I have to bring something up, I was really struggling thinking about us. You are a ridiculously nice guy and such a thoughtful person and I am glad we got to spend our time together. But after those days I have to say I’m just not there. It is absolutely nothing you have done or anything–you are incredibly sweet and genuine, but I know you sensed that I’m not there right now. I wish I were because you are such a catch, but for some reason I can’t explain I’m not. I am happy to have spent my time with you, please know! I hope you will have felt the same.”

Maybe now you understand all my confusion?

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Scythul said 9 years, 11 months ago:

To be perfectly honest, I don’t see any fault of yours in this whole situation. You honestly tried your best with her, gave it your all as you can tell when she says you are “incredibly sweet and genuine.” In this case, the ball is in her court now. We know you have feelings for her, she knows you have feelings for her. Now, she either doesn’t have feelings for you (meaning you didn’t seem to click, in her mind) in which case there is not much you can’t do, as you cannot force feelings upon another person…that will only push them away. Another possibility is that she has feelings for you but has not realized them yet, in which case you need to give her her space and act cool. My best suggestion is to just play it cool, give her some space and next time you meet just act normal and respect your decision. If she sees your true value and how much the time you both spent together really meant to her, she will definitely come around. I definitely think you should focus on other aspects of your life right now, don’t let her consume your thoughts, work on yourself in the meantime. If worst comes to worst and she doesn’t come around, then hey, there are definitely more fish in the sea. However, whatever you do..don’t beg her to accept your feelings or to come back or anything of the sort because that will TOTALLY knock your chances down to 0% and push her away. I wish you the best of luck Roy :)

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