FruitJade said 11 years, 2 months ago:

What’s your best trick for defusing a really bad argument with your significant other?

The top comment hit the hammer on the nails head. I find that I already do this in situations and it works very well:

I’ve been married over 2 decades.
IF YOU’RE WRONG:
Apologize for shouting. Apologize for being antagonistic. Mean it.
Tell her honestly that you want to work this problem out, but you love her and don’t want to shout, yell, scream, etc.
Sit and LISTEN. Don’t defend yourself. Don’t get hostile.
Apologize for what you’ve done wrong and hug. Move on.
IF SHE IS WRONG:
Don’t yell, don’t scream, don’t shout. Explain in neutral terms how what has occurred has hurt your feelings or whatever the specific effect caused by her actions was. Address THAT… not her actions. Assume her actions were not done vindictively.
Hug and say thank you for a civil discussion.
Move on.
IF SHE REALLY SCREWED YOU OVER INTENTIONALLY:
Dump her. Fuck that.
OD

FruitJade said 11 years, 2 months ago:

Well if someone has been married for 20 years and has found this is the best way to diffuse an argument, I would say it works

I’ve found personally that this works for me during arguments. A lot of it has to do with putting your pride aside and remembering the love and respect you have for that person. Yelling may start at first but if you truly care about the health of your relationship, you’d calm down and try to -LISTEN- to what your partner is saying.

FruitJade said 11 years, 2 months ago:

The last 3 lines of his comment was a joke.