Alykarina said 10 years, 6 months ago:

Well I was in this relationship for 3 years and 8 months and he dumped me right before Valentines day last year. I was so devastated, because I put my time and effort in for this guy. I opened up to him, and basically I trusted him. I usually have a hard time trusting because of something I went through in my past. Then, I found out he left me to be with this girl he called his “sister” I hit rock bottom with that relationship, but 7 months later, I met another guy. He was in the Army. At first him and I didnt see much to it, than one day it just happened. Him and I happened. I gave him a chance. Im not one to go for any guys military affiliated, because they are so cocky and all and I wasnt sure if I could handle the long distance. So I had 3 weeks with him before he was deployed again, and within that 3 weeks it was different. I never felt that way before and basically, I fell fast for him. I ended up losing my virginity and first kiss to him.Yes, I stated above that I was with a guy for 3 years, but I didnt feel he was the right one. Until I met the guy in the army. It was unexplainable. Before he was being deployed, He was going to do a flash mob proposal for me but I found out and I told him that I wasnt ready even if the relationship started fast. Than he left and 2 months being away things were good. It still felt like it was Me and him aginst the world and honestly I was freaking out that I was doing long distance and it was going good. By the middle of the 2nd month, he started changing. He started messing up and still I stayed and gave him many chances. He woud constantly mess around with my emotions and lie and go behind my back. As much as I wanted to leave I couldnt, because he was my first. I told myself the reason he was acting up was because hes depressed about being deployed and just wants to come back home. . Well from that day on, hes been giving me a hard time and also *hinting* to fly back to where he is. So I got a plane ticket to surprise him. Well, he found out and he told me no, because he doesnt have leave and to cancel it. So I did. Than he started getting worse, to the point there was an incident with another girl that was a part of his unit and it just killed me in the inside. I didnt want anything to deal with him but he kept begging and begging, so I gave him another chance. When we got back together, it was good than Dec 8, he dumped me and I didnt know what to do but I left it as is because I was tired of putting up with the crap I was going through, but Dec 13, he called me up to say Happy 3 months anniversary baby I love you so much, I was confused and I told him he dumped me and he said No I didn’t.. So that day we spent it on skype talking like nothing ever happened, than the next day he ignored me.. He didnt bother and I called him up and He didnt care. He told me I deserved better and all of that .. I mean we would fight but it was the usual like he thought I deserved better because he wasnt near me phsyically to protect me, but I didnt mind. I told him I didnt care about that, as long as he was faithful and remained faithful, I wasnt leaving. And as long as he came back. From that day I kept trying for 3 days but he kept ignoring me. He was also talking to another girl with the same name as me but different last name, and he didnt even know her. It was a random add from her and she kept flirting, and all and it hurt me. After chasing him for for 4 days trying to get an explanation, he shut me out, he told me he doesnt love me and he doesnt care. He just left with no explanation and Im hurt because he was never like this.. Everyone that was once close with him came to me asking why he changed and was being distant and I didnt have any explanation .. Because I also was hurt. Its hard for me to move on and its been one month since Ive talked to him and I miss him.. I want to move on, but I find myself waiting. Because I feel like theres still something, But I dont want to wait forever. I want to call him up but Im scared. I keep pushing guys away for him and I know i deserve better, but I cant find the strength to move on.. I want to know if he still loves me, and if he doesnt, I just want an explanation towards everything. At least closure.. Please help.. Because I find myself having a hard time sleeping and hardly eating

Ash said 10 years, 6 months ago:

There is no formula to this: there is no clear edge solution. You just have to trust in yourself and promise, to yourself that you will do what’s best for you, and go with your gut. You deserve better. I, an unbiased, anonymous stranger, am telling you that you deserve better. Go find a man, not a boy who can’t do the right thing when it comes to his feelings.

Also, Have fun with life! He isn’t the only aspect of your life. go do something that makes you happy! paint, or dance or play sports, hang out with friends, go swimming, waste time on the internet looking at cat videos, write a poem or a story, take photographs, read a magazine, watch a movie! do whatever makes you happy! Once you force yourself to get into this tuff, you’ll be back to normal, I guarentee it. You don’t need to waste your time feeling bad about a situation that would have ended up like this anyway, and you know it. Just forget about him, and ask your friends to support you through this breakup!!! if you want another friend, you could always PM me, I’d be more than willing to help!

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Ash