decker14 said 10 years, 3 months ago:

I’ve been off and on seeing this guy for about six months. He’s really nice and we hit it off great. However, he’s older than I am (I’m 22 and he’s 34), and tends to use his age as an excuse not to open up to me. I understand that he’s been hurt in his past relationship (he’s divorced) but we have talked about him just going off the grid, and cutting communication for as long as he wants whenever he wants. Obviously this doesn’t foster a trusting environment. Just last week, he told me that he wanted to be in a committed relationship with me, and now he’s doing his disappearing act again. He acts like it’s my fault because I’m young and “wouldn’t understand” however, he’s not giving me a chance. I really like this guy, but I’m unsure where to go from here. Should I stick around and see what happens or should I just cut all ties with him?

Angel Michelle said 10 years, 3 months ago:

I agree you should hold out for a little while longer and went through the same with my man. I am 21 and he is 31. we are in love and have been together for three and a half years and are talking about getting married. Good Luck hunny.

Jessiebelle said 10 years, 3 months ago:

I would not keep going with this guy. He does not seem like a good person to be in a relationship with.

First of all, his age and past are no excuse for a lack of communication. In healthy age-gap relationships the older partner respects the younger partner and treats them like an equal. You are not being treated as an equal. When he says “You wouldn’t understand” that is disrespectful.

Secondly, no good comes from a partner of any age dropping off the grid randomly. Even people who have been hurt in the past don’t do that. That’s at best a jerk move. At worst it’s a power-play that keeps you on edge afraid that he’ll cut off communication again. That sort of manipulation goes south very fast.

You are twenty-one. There is no reason for you to hang on to a relationship with a guy who treats you badly (and yes, this is treating you badly).

At best I’d say this guy doesn’t respect you. At worst, the random cutting of communication are because he’s not actually divorced and his wife/partner found out about you again.