Unlikeany said 10 years, 3 months ago:

Marriage is hard. There is no way around that. It’s a choice you make to work together no matter what, “for better or worse”. I would love to tell you it gets easier but it isn’t about wanting someone to change or changing for them, it’s about loving each other flaws and all. Sometimes this means agreeing to disagree. It’s not a competition ever. Even when you feel you are making so much more effort, you can’t look at it like that. You will end up resentful. Marriage isn’t about getting what you want, it’s about continually serving each other. All you can do is calmly work through things and love your spouse for who they are. It has taken my husband and me 9 years (6married) to get to a point where we both are totally secure in us, we are unbreakable. It’s brought many fights, tears, hurt feelings, endless repetitive conversations on both parts. We still disagree and even bicker, but marriage is a job of sorts, not a magical happy fairytale. It’s also a choice that too many people jump into entirely too quickly, forgetting what you are vowing. But it’s entirely worth it!

I am sorry it’s been rough but you have to talk calmly, work through problems even if it means agreeing to walk away to cool off before fights break out. Most importantly you need to learn where you are both coming from. Your husband may be making efforts that you don’t realize. Sometimes we expect something of someone and totally overlook what’s actually there.