I had enough..i cant handle it anymore

The Mute, i'm sure even with a fake smile, it's still as beautiful or handsome as ever. That only makes your real one a great thing both to experience and to see. By no means did you waste my time, if anything i'm glad you've come back here to express yourself to us. You are not a bad person, we can all see that. You have no intentions of harming or hurting others, so in that case you should never be harmed by others. You're a person with good intentions at heart, who is just misunderstood. Sadly, that's what a lot of people are these day, but underneath all of our restrictive depression and bad days is pure life and happiness, with the chance to experience new things and ways of life right at our doorstep. And also, I know never to try and not cry. Crying is not "weak" or "shameful", it's proof that you're a normal person all the same with strong feelings and emotions, it's also one of the best ways to ease the pain of stress. If you never need anything, being a place to express yourself again or just for a simple chat, i'm always here. Stay strong, Friend =)

Hey, nobody should ever feel like this. Ever. I bet you are an amazing person, you care about the others enough to sacrifice your happiness, but that's not correct, you shouldn't carry the weight of the world on your back. Stop thinking about the others and start thinking about yourself, do things that make you happy once in a while, no matter if people will judge or get mad or something like that. Smile for real and for you, not for your parents or friends. If they force you to be something you aren't (happy, in this case) then they're not good people. Good friends support you when you are sad, they try their best to make you feel happy, but don't force. Do it for yourself, not for your friends, and you'll see results.

If you EVER* need anything

Look at it this way, if you don't care about life anymore, what's stopping you from doing anything you want? Going skydiving or jumping a bunch of flaming cars on a motorcycle are cowardly compared to straight up suicide, so why not do those instead? Get some fun out of your indifference towards life.