Jane Doe said 3 years, 9 months ago:

Well it’s not really a love story I suppose.
I won’t include too much detail about the guy, but I will describe him in some ways.
Lets call him Moon.

So, Moon is this guy who can light up the room with his bright rectangular smile. A bit cheesy and awkward way to describe him I know. But hes quirky, and he never fails to make me laugh. Hes random and is constantly a ball of hyperness. If happiness was a person, happiness would be Moon.

Despite Moon being happy all the time, hes a very passionate person whose persistent in achieving his goals. It could be a good thing, but sometimes he pushes himself too far to the point where he physically gets hurt. His job is very physical, and involves being very social with people around him. Hes constantly moving and he never has free time. At moments where it gets really busy, I cry because I know hes hurting and being stressed out. Moon tries to hide it behind his smile, but its obvious hes anything but happy and smiley when hes practically hiding himself away behind his brothers.

I’m getting sort of off topic, but I had to include some detail about Moon in some way.

Anyways, Moon is a very talented and unique guy. He cares so much for children and his parents and dogs especially. Honestly, he has a child-like behavior….at times.

I say at times because he’s unpredictable. He can be all innocent and childlike at one point, but the next minute its as if hes taking you down with his piercing eyes. Not even exaggerating.

Moon is a very popular guy, and that’s where my problem comes in.

the term ‘out of my league’ doesn’t even begin to describe how much we can’t be together.

Moon and I are from entirely different worlds. Entirely different social lives and environment. Hell, I’m so freaking sure he doesn’t even know who I am.

So how did i come to be in love with this type of guy?

Well at first, i liked his friend, but little by little he came into the frame until it was only him and everyone else had vanished and blurred into a perfect white, leaving behind an unerasable mark on my heart that was Moon.

It was his laugh that was like a chiming bell, his voice that sent shivers up and down my spine every time he spoke, his hands that just looked so holdable, his cute rectangular smile that paired up with his tightly closed eyes as he grinned, his sweaters that i was so tempted to grab a hold of and hug him whenever i saw him, his singing voice that can make me feel so many different emotions in one second, his bursts of random alien like speech (because hes quirky like that), that make my day instantly, his immense love for his parents that make me admire him even more, his dream of becoming a great father one day and taking care of 3-5+ kids (crazy i know) that make me fall so much harder for him, his brother like friendship with his best friends that makes me swell with pride and relief, his sometimes innocent demeanor that makes me think “Moon is an adult right?” and i end up laughing, and lastly, his personality that’s so attentive, caring, pure, genuine, honest, kind, understanding, protective, persevering, courageous, determined, and so full of love he’s practically cupid…it was all of these things that made me love Moon.

You’re probably wondering about why I titled this ‘unachievable’. Well its simple.

Moon is unachievable…for me at least.
And its not as simple as ‘just confess your feelings for him’ because I can’t. I physically cant. Hes half way across the world living his life to the fullest while i’m here stuck to dream about what it would’ve been like if i were with him. What it would’ve been like if he only knew how much I love him. What it would be like if i just had 3 damn seconds to tell him how much he meant to me.

Moon is unachievable in the most depressing ways. Hes unachievable in the most loving ways. Hes unachievable in the most idiotic ways. Hes unachievable in the most enchanting ways. Hes unachievable because hes loved. Hes unachievable because he doesn’t love me. Hes unachievable because hes meant for a special soul…girl out there in the world. Hes unachievable because he was never mine to begin with. Like the Sun and the moon. We can’t be together.

And this is the story of my first, and still love.

Hayden said 3 years, 9 months ago:

It’s really unfortunate that you two can’t be together, or that you can’t even tell him what he means to you. He sounds like a good guy.
But there will be others you come across in your lifetime. He’s just a chapter in your book. I hope you someday find someone who you love just as much as this guy, if not even more.

Steve J said 2 years, 2 months ago:

Eloquently put, Jane.