Julie said 9 years, 10 months ago:

Answer the Questions below:
1. What forms of self harm do/have you used?
2. When did you start self harming?(Date,amount of time,age,grade)
3. Do you have any mental disorders or think you may have any. If so which one(s)?
4. When is the last time you self harmed?
5. What was the reason for the last time you self harmed?
6. What form of self harm did you use the last time you self harmed?
7. How many people know about your self harm?
8. Who are the people who know about your self harm?
9. How did these people find out about your self harm?
10. Do you regret telling someone about your self harm? If so who and why?
11. Have you ever been to therapy or counseling? If so for what and why?
12. If you have been to therapy or counseling how did it go? How did you feel about it?
*Questions 13-15 depend on your form of self harm*
13.Do you cover you scars?
14.Have you shown your scars to anyone? If yes then who, why and what was their reaction?
15. How do you feel about your scars?
16. Do you want to stop self harming?
17. Have you tried to stop self harming? And why?
18. What do you use to self harm?
19. Have you told anyone you have stopped self harming but you still do it? If yes then who and why?
20. Do you know anyone who self harms? If yes then who and how many people?
21. If you know someone who self harms, hat was your reaction?
22. What was the reaction of the people who know you self harm?
23. Have you ever been hospitalized for something self harm related? If yes then explain.
24. What are some of your triggers?
25. What is your worst self harm experience?
26. Have you ever had a realization during/after self harming?
27. Have you ever been bullied? Explain what happened
28. Say something that has been bothering you.
29. Say how you feel about people who make fun of self harm.
30. Say how you feel about people only self harm for attention only.
31. Say whatever you would like. (ex: Your story, advice, any type of story, anything you would like to say.)

Julie said 9 years, 10 months ago:

1. I have cut, scratched, overdosed, bruised, hit myself, and purged.
2. I started self harming in May 2013 I was 14, in 8th grade. So I started a little over a year ago.
3. I haven’t been diagnosed with any mental disorders because I didn’t stay that long in therapy to be diagnosed. I thought I had major depression for a while but I’m not as depressed as I used to be. I’m pretty convinced that I may have borderline personality disorder because most of the symptoms apply to me. But I do think there is something mentally wrong with me.
4. The last time I self harmed was yesterday night
5. The last time I self harmed was because I was feeling overwhelmed about something
6. The form I used to self harm last time was cutting,
7. 8people know about my self harm not including all the therapists I only went to once or twice.
8. The people who know about my self harm are my grandpa, grandma, mom, my closet best friend, my ex best friend, and one of my other best friend, and my school counselor , and my grandmas friend who’s my neighbor.
9. My grandpa found out about my self harm because he noticed I kept wearing long sleeves, my grandma found out by my grandpa telling her, my mom found out because my grandma told her, one of my best friends found out because I told her, she was the first one I told, my ex best friend and his mom who is my grandmas friend found out because my grandma told them unfortunately, my closet best friend found out because I told her about 9 months after I started, my school counselor found out because someone told him I don’t know who so he confronted me about it. So a lot of people know and I didn’t even tell them.
10. I don’t regret telling anyone about my self harm because I only told two people because other people couldn’t keep their mouths shut.
11I was in therapy twice for self harm in 2013 but the first time I only went once and the second time I only went 3 times. In 2014 I went to therapy because someone told my school counselor I self harm so he made me go. I went one time at one place and two times at another place. Now im not going because everyone forgot I have to go.
12. Therapy didn’t go well because I never stayed long enough and never talked because I didn’t want to be there.
13. Yes I cover my scars.
14. I have show my closest best friend my scars because I wanted to for some reason and she was asking me to see and she was thinking about cutting so I wanted to scare her away from it.
15. I don’t really know how I feel my scars. I mean I like them but I hate them because I hate wearing long sleeves and its hot and I miss short sleeves.
16. Right now I don’t want to stop
17. I’ve tried to stop twice but I gave up so I decided to just give up all together
18. When I cut I use razor blades from shaving razors and pencil sharpeners. When I bruise myself I use a hair brush to hit myself.
19. I told my grandparents I stopped when I didn’t and they believed me until someone told my school counselor. And I told my school counselor stopped when I didn’t but I don’t think he believed me, but when I start school after summer and im still wearing long sleeves I think he will notice again.
20. One of my friends since fourth grade used to self harm, some friends at my school are trying to stop and haven’t done it for a while but I don’t know anyone who Is still doing it.
21.When my grandpa confronted me he just told me to roll up my sleeves but I wouldn’t, my grandparents never talked to me about it, now they just roll their eyes I think they think im attention seeking. The first person I told had tears in her eyes and asked me why. My closet best friend said she was thinking of all the times she saw me in long sleeves when it was hot and when she saw a cut on my hand. My exbestfriend who I didn’t tell called me”fuxking crazy” because someone told him other stuff. My school counselor, well someone told him and this is not a story I want to tell.
23. No I haven’t been hospitalized but there were multiple times were I knew I would have been if I told the truth to my counselor and one time where my grandpa wanted to take me but I refused.
24. I’d rather not list all my triggers
25.I don’t want to go into detail because its crazy.
26. Again don’t want to go into detail.
27. Once this girl in kindergarten pulled my hair and kicked down my legos but that’s all the bullying ive ever had.
28. My grandparents just roll their eyes if I ever try saying something important.
29. I think people shouldn’t make fun of self harm because obviously they don’t know anything about it.
30. I think they must really want attention if they self harm for it but at the same time it annoys me. I would say some people have real problems but obviously they have problems too.
31. If any one needs to talk, im here.

DJ Not Nice said 9 years, 10 months ago:

1. Knife, wall (punching it until I bleed)
2. Meh don’t recall the first time, years ago
3. Yes, schizoid.
4. Yesterday
5. Felt like it
6. Knife
7. Now, a lot. Prior, like 6, maybe, friends.
8. Friends and you lots.
9. I told them.
10. No, and I did it ’cause they were asking questions.
11. Of course not.
12. -
13. Of course not.
14. Yes, a friend said I was fucked up.
15. I like them.
16. No.
17. No, ’cause I don’t do it to harm myself really.
18. Knife, some redundancy here.
19. No, since I haven’t stop.
20. Yes, a good friend of mine, and some other peeps.
21. “I see.” was what I said.
22. “Ah, you’re fucked up.”
23. No.
24. When I’m extremely bored or want to feel something.
25. I don’t have bad experiences, as I don’t do it to hurt myself, I only do it for the scars and the temporary pain associated with it.
26. Yes.
27. Sort of, someone trying to drown me is pretty close to bullying now that I recall.
28. Fuck the hypocrites.
29. You have time to waste.
30. There are better ways to get attention.
31. I cut for myself, not for others. I don’t do it out of emotions or rage or whatnot. I do it for various unusual reasons. I don’t do it often, nor do I enjoy the pain or anything. I like to see scars, and I like the feeling of easing the pain afterwards. It also wakes me up from certain mental states. It has nothing to do with hating myself or not, it’s more about feeling something (not pain, pain isn’t pleasing at all).

Atlas said 9 years, 10 months ago:

1. Cutting
2. I started cutting when I was 17
3. Clinical Depression and Anxiety
4. A month ago
5. I had experienced a pretty bad anxiety attack and needed a way to stop it.
6. Cutting my arms
7. 3 people
8. My counselor, psychologist and boyfriend
9. I willingly told each of them
10. I don’t regret telling them. Especially my boyfriend, as I wanted him to know before he asked me out so he knew what he was getting into.
11. I’m currently attending counseling for my depression and anxiety problems.
12. I was really nervous at first. I had no idea what to expect and was worried that they would tell my parents if I said anything about my self harming, however everything’s working out in my favor and things are starting to get better c:
13.Yes I cover my scars.
14. No I haven’t shown anyone my scars.
15. I feel like they are a constant reminder of how desperate my situation had become, and I’m not proud of it.
16. Absolutely yes.
17. I have tried to stop, because it’s such a hassle having to hide the scars.
18. I use a knife/blade
19. No I haven’t told anyone I’d stopped but still do it.
20. I knew of a girl in one of my classes who had self harmed, but not personally.
21. I was quite surprised.
22. My counselor and psychologist were very at ease about it, which surprised me. My boyfriend was quite shocked.
23. No I haven’t been hospitalized for it.
24. My triggers are severe depressive moods or after having an anxiety attack.
25. One time I was in such a bad state that I cut most of my forearm till there was barely any uncut skin left.
26. I only ever regret/realize what I’ve done after I’ve calmed down from my anxiety attack, and the pain of the cuts sets in.
27. I’ve never been severely bullied before.
28. People have been claiming that the medication I’m taking gives you permanent brain damage. Not sure if legit.
29. I’d say most of the time they make fun of people who self harm is because they don’t fully understand what it’s like to feel the need to do it.
30. I’m disgusted by people who romanticize or boast about self harm. It’s not something you should be ‘proud’ of doing. If you were really in a position to have the need to cut, you wouldn’t be keen to share it.

Avocadoor said 9 years, 10 months ago:

1. What forms of self harm do/have you used?
cutting, scratching, biting, hair pulling, kicking, hitting, burning
2. When did you start self harming (Date,amount of time,age,grade)
im 16 now, i started when i was 7, when i tried to kill myself
3. Do you have any mental disorders or think you may have any. If so which one(s)?
i havnt been diagnosed but i think i believe i have anxiety, bipolar disorder, and depression
4. When is the last time you self harmed?
about 2 weeks ago
5. What was the reason for the last time you self harmed?
the realization i was visiting my mom soon, i was overwhelmed
6. What form of self harm did you use the last time you self harmed?
cutting
7. How many people know about your self harm?
a countless amount, a lot of people dont really say when they notice..
8. Who are the people who know about your self harm?
all my followers on tumblr, my best friend, my ex..more “friends”-ex friends- and my p.e. teacher
9. How did these people find out about your self harm?
tumblr: suggestive posts
everyone else: saw and asked -at first id try lying but now its gotten to the point its obvious
10. Do you regret telling someone about your self harm? If so who and why?
i never told anyone, but i regret people knowing because they treat me different, almost like a piece of delicate pottery
11. Have you ever been to therapy or counseling? If so for what and why?
no, but my grandmother thinks i should, she doesnt know but she thinks im depressed
12. If you have been to therapy or counseling how did it go? How did you feel about it?
-insignificant-
*Questions 13-15 depend on your form of self harm*
13.Do you cover you scars?
at first when it was just on my arms i would cover with makeup and bracelets but now that it went to my legs and stomach i cant really cover it other than with clothes
14.Have you shown your scars to anyone? If yes then who, why and what was their reaction?
only people who have seen by accident, when im around those people now im not as careful, but almost everyone who noticed got mad when they found out…
15. How do you feel about your scars?
very self conscious
16. Do you want to stop self harming?
sometimes i think i should but i never want to, its addictive
17. Have you tried to stop self harming? And why?
yes, because my friend manuel kept checking my arms every time id see him, i didnt want him to be disappointed so i tried to stop all together
18. What do you use to self harm?
razors, erasers, lighters
19. Have you told anyone you have stopped self harming but you still do it? If yes then who and why?
yes, people who iv talked to, such as friends who i found out were hurting themselves, and its because i dont think they need to, and i know theyre stronger than that, most of the time though i just say im there to listen and i tell them i know how addictive it is..
20. Do you know anyone who self harms? If yes then who and how many people?
yes, a few friends, most of them have stopped, and a couple classmates whose sleeves i see roll up..
im not sure how many, a lot..
21. If you know someone who self harms, what was your reaction?
i usually try to ignore it, i know how i feel when people point it out on me, so i just pretend i dont notice
although once, a boy from my math class noticed my wrist and then he tried to be a constant in my life, just present and caring, and he told me he did, and i cried and told him he had to stop, every now and then hed come to me and hug me and tell me he had stopped for ___ days
22. What was the reaction of the people who know you self harm?
usually theyre really mad. either that or they act disappointed.
23. Have you ever been hospitalized for something self harm related? If yes then explain.
no
24. What are some of your triggers?
thats an endless list, talking to my mom, grade reports- no matter how good/bad they are..
25. What is your worst self harm experience?
i tried to hang myself and my mom came in my room, home from work early, and then she took my down and beat me “for trying something so stupid” -i was 7
26. Have you ever had a realization during/after self harming?
iv realized how bad iv been getting…
27. Have you ever been bullied? Explain what happened
yes, i moved a lot, so i was always the new kid, in a normal year id move 2-3 times… people thought i was different, and i never had many friends because i moved so much and saw no point in trying
28. Say something that has been bothering you.
my friend is in an abusive relationship and her mother knows but doesnt do anything, iv told our school, and they arent doing anything..
29. Say how you feel about people who make fun of self harm.
IT MAKES ME SO ANGRY they need to understand that someone is in such a dark place they take their anger out on themselves or that they use physical pain as a distraction to forget everything theyre going through
when someone uses depression as a punchline i gets seriously peeved
30. Say how you feel about people only self harm for attention only.
i think its sad that they need to resort to something like that because they want attention.
31. Say whatever you would like. (ex: Your story, advice, any type of story, anything you would like to say.)
im here for everyone -i dont want you to be alone like me-

beth said 9 years, 10 months ago:

1. mainly cutting, also burning and purging
2. When i was 14
3. at the time i had depression and social anxiety
4. when i was 17 (5 years ago)
5. i never knew the reason for my self harming, a mixture of anger and self loathing i guess
6. cutting
7. about 10
8. close family, ex, my boyfriend
9. i told them
10. I’ve never really felt comfortable telling anyone so i would only tell people when i knew they would find out, so no regrets
11. so many times i can’t remember what i went for, usually depression
12. sometimes it was really helpful
13.i try to cover them whenever i can when I’m around strangers
14.my boyfriend, because i knew he wouldn’t judge me
15. personally i don’t mind them, they remind me of how far i have come, i hate them though when other people, strangers, see them, people are so quick to judge
16. i have stopped, 5 years ago

18.i would use a broken glass or razor
19. no
20. no
22.some were shocked, others were judgmental, others felt pity
23. i have been taken to hospital three times to get stitches, all up i have 5 stitched cuts
24. when that feeling starts coming back, feeling lonely, or hating myself
25. the first time i cut deep, at that time no one knew i cut and there was a lot of blood
26. no?
27. nope
28. having depressive thoughts come back
29. they only make fun because they don’t understand
30. they need attention and they don’t know a healthy way of getting it
31. I’m proud to say that i no longer cut, i sometimes get the urge but i haven’t cut for 5 years, i have around 60 visible scars left on my forearms and they remind me everyday how far I’ve come and motivate me to never get to that dark place again

MysticMoon said 9 years, 9 months ago:

1. I beat and/or strangle myself.
2. I was twelve when I started- but it was very minor back then. Just a smack or a punch to put myself on track. It’s progessively gotten worse.
3. Depression and Anxiety, which in my opinion is a sensory overload.
4. It’s been about a week. I’m trying to avoid it if I can, for Trevor’s sake..
5. I was very angry with myself for blowing up on someone who didn’t deserve it. Episode lasted for 15 minutes before Trevor got me to stop.
6. I was hitting myself for a while there. I probably would have ended up choking myself if I hadn’t been stopped.
7. Myself, Trevor, and anyone who’s reading this.
8. Refer to #7
9. Trevor has seen a few episodes, and I’m currently telling you.
10. No.
11. No.
12-15. N/A
16. Yes I do…
17. I’m currently trying. Not only to make Trevor happy, but to make myself happy.
18. My fists. Sometimes a belt. If my episode is bad enough, whatever I can get my hands on.
19. No.
20. Yes. Five people.
21. I used to try to talk to them about it, but that only causes trouble…now I ignore it…
22. It makes him cry.
23. I tried to kill myself. But as far as they’re concerned, it was an accident.
24. If I feel like an utter fuck up. A lot of things can trigger that though, so you can imagine how often this occurs.
25. I don’t remember much….but apparently I took it too far. I won’t say too much, but trevor had to resesitate me.
26. I often cry because I know how much it hurts him….I know I need to stop…
27. Yes. For various reasons. The worst case my my friends and I being beating for our orientations.
28. Why does it matter if I live? Why does he love me so much that he keeps me around, even though it hurts him?
29. They’re a bunch of fucking low lifes. This shit isn’t a fucking joke.
30. Honestly, its pathetic.
31. Just because I’m not cutting and leaving scars doesn’t mean I’m being fake. Its still self harm, and it only makes things worse to know people think its fake.

ellascreams said 9 years, 9 months ago:

1. Razors, heated hair styling tools, smashing my head off of things, choking myself (does that count?) punching/slapping myself
2. July 2009
3. When I was 14, I had a severe problem with hallucinations. But I know I have recouring depression, anxiety, and a hardcore long term problem with eating disorders.
4 & 5. Oct. 2013…I got a bad grade on a very personal poem that was very hard for me to submit and it felt like the teachers comments on my poem were directed at me as a person
6. Razor. I unscrewed an eyeliner pencil sharpener razor (what I’ve always done).
7. I have only told under 5 people close to me, but apparently a lot of people in my high school knew
8. My sisters, mom, boyfriend, and brother
9. My mom got a tip and came into my room one night and demanded me to remove all my clothes and inspect my body while calling me a pathetic attention whore. I told my siblings…two of my sisters had cut themselves.
10. My brother, everytime I get low he always jokes about it.
11. Yes
12. I thought it was going to help, but the new rules he enforced went away quickly…
*Questions 13-15 depend on your form of self harm*
13. No
14. Not ententionally, but if someone sees and asks what happens, I will tell them.
15. Conflicted. I like to romanticize my pain sometimes. Other times I’m ashamed. And sometimes I accept it as a part of who I am and who I was.
16. Yes and I have.
17. I just didn’t want to be “that girl” any more.
18. Depends. But usually anything I can get my hands on.
19. I have. So they would be proud of me.
20. A lot of the girls I know self harm.
21. I usually just go “oh” and then ask why.
22. Pity or laughing/anger/ridicule.
23. No, but once I cut so deep the blood ran black and I passed out and it bled for quite sometime. I probably should have…
24. The mirror? Clothes shopping. Hanging out with my internationally famous supermodel best friend. Getting dirty looks in public….public.
25. I had an anxiety/hallunicantion attack and I started seeing myself dead from multiple forms of suicide crawling out of every corner of my room towards me calling me towards them…calling me to join them. I ended up choking and hitting myself until I passed out.
26. I usually feel ashamed after the high wears off, but I don’t know if that counts.
27. I have been bullied for 13 years, in 4 cities, in 6 different schools and I have had insults shouted at me by random people in public places. Methods include physical, verbal, spitting, taking my property and damaging it, group mockery, cyberbullying…pretty much everything.
28. I really just want to know why so many people have taken such a strong dislike to me. I believe that people are enheirently good and I just cannot understand why so many people hate me so strongly. It has to be my fault.
29. They are worse than people who victim shame. I have no tolerance for those types of people.
30. I think that they shouldn’t be shamed. Clearly they are struggling with something as well and no ones suffering is more important than anyone else’s. Clearly they need help and just do not understand how to get it. People who cut because it’s trendy have a serious problem as well. There is something going on there…some subconscious need for attention, a need for approval…there is a serious problem there.
31. I do not believe that happiness, or sadness, is a choice. I believe that we have no control over our intial emotions, we have control over how we go from there but we have control over where we go from there. Like, if you stubbed your toe, you’re going to yell out a curse word. You have no control over that. You can stop the swear as it reaches your teeth, but you had no control of it until it got that far. Emotions are reactions to life. I believe that we don’t have control over that first reaction, but after a bit we are able to come out of the pain and realize it wasn’t so bad. Many people may not agree with me, but I got out of the biggest part of my depression by just letting go of my control over my emotions and letting myself react to life. After the reaction played out, I was able to look back on everything and realize that it wasn’t as big as I thought it was and pick myself up.
Pain demands to be felt.
(I apologize for terrible grammar, I was just writing straight from the mind)