Cutting is a way of getting control when life seems like it’s out of control. As you cut you control the pain you go through, on your own terms, and your brain releases endorphins when you do, helping make it addictive.
The first thing to remember is that cutting doesn’t help you, period. It’s an addiction that does nothing but make things worse. It seems like an easy way to take control of something in your life, but really you only make it so much harder.
When your niece asks about those scars, you tell her those scars are a war that you won, and that you don’t want her to ever have to go through it. Scars are a reminder of something that hurt us, we all have them, but the thing to do is remember that you healed from that wound. It healed and new skin grew over it, just like when we clean up those areas of our life, we grow happy again.
Generally if we’re are unhappy with our life there’s a reason for it. Look at your life, why aren’t you happy anymore? What is taking you out of your good moods? What’s making life hard for you when it shouldn’t be? That’s the thing you need to remove.
Remember depression is an illness, and if you think it’s serious you should seek help, but if you don’t think it’s gone that far, then remember thinking those thoughts is a choice. A choice that you are in control of. You’re strong, you’ve made it this far, you bear the scars of your past, but that doesn’t mean your stuck there. You’ve made it this far, don’t give up, don’t let that weak part of yourself come back.
If your boyfriend leaves you instead of trying to help and understand you, then I’m afraid to tell you, you’re better off. If he doesn’t do his best to understand you and try to help you through this and your other problems, then he’s not the right guy for you. Don’t settle for someone. When you’re in a relationship you should always have each others best interests at heart, and if one of you doesn’t, then it’s not really a relationship anymore is it? It’s one person living how they want while they string the other along.
Don’t give up, exercise instead, find an outlet, take control of your life, and isolate the things that bring that depression back and get rid of them. We’re all at war tbird, but that doesn’t mean we have to lose.