gtbags2 said 10 years, 3 months ago:

I’m 21 and I put myself out there and feel like I’m a good person, but I haven’t ever dated. I’m so tired, I want to cut myself ALL the time but I haven’t most of all what scares me is that I don’t feel like God still loves me. I’ve prayed for years to date, but nothing happens. I feel like no matter what I accomplish here in my heart I will know I failed myself if I never get married. Why is it so difficult for me to just date. I really truly want to honor God, but I don’t know why I can’t seem to get to have the one thing I really care about and ask God for. Why is this simple thing so hard for me” I cut for a bit, but have stopped. I miss it honestly, I felt in control of my pain, I had confidence being single would end. Now I want to date or die. I need to change that attitude! I feel like I failed myself, I don’t know how to become dateable even to only have a girlfriend for like a month. I’m out of energy to hope. What should I do?

Good Villager said 10 years, 3 months ago:

Okay… I’ll give you my opinion, but I’ll say right now that god isn’t a big part of my life. I’ll not feel offended if you want to disregard my opinion based on that. Anyway…

First thing: there’s absolutely nothing wrong in not getting married. Besides, you’re 21, still have some years to go before thinking about marriage. And you don’t need to honor god above all. You need to do what you want, what will make you happy.
You also need to realize that you don’t need a girlfriend to be happy. Of course, she might help a lot, but it’s usually a lot easier for someone to feel attracted for you if you seem a happy, jolly fellow. Try dedicating your time at a fulfilling hobby, or volunteer at something that makes you feel appreciated or helpful. Usually those activities increase your self-esteem and satisfied. Search for something worth your living besides a girlfriend. If you don’t find any, search harder.

Dating is not simple for everyone. A lot of people have troubles with it for many different reasons.
You gotta figure out what’s holding you. Is it your appearance? Is it your behavior? Are you interesting? Is it your religion? Is it your society? What is it? Ask yourself those questions and try to answer it the best you can. By knowing the answer, you can then start to improve yourself to become who you want to be.

Captain Patchwork said 10 years, 2 months ago:

Do you really think praying makes a date just happen? That’s not how it’s supposed to work. You don’t pray to make a problem go away, you pray to give yourself the strength to take care of the problem.

If you don’t ask someone out on a date, you won’t have a date. It is literally that simple.

Kyle said 10 years, 2 months ago:

You should focus for now on what is making you feel so awful. Only you can know what that is. Because dating someone isn’t going to fix that for you although it sounds nice and you want the relationship to blossom into something great so your priority in the meantime (while still going out and meeting people) should be to help yourself and care about yourself because it doesn’t matter how much another person cares about it, if you don’t think of yourself more positively, it is going to affect your future relationship Be kind to yourself!