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Alex said 11 years ago:

So i’ve been listening to a lot of people on blahtherapy and I’ve realised the biggest problem that most people are going through is that people think they dont have the freedom to do whatever they want.
They see no way out of their current state. They hate their life and they want to change it but they do nothing.
I have a crush, I’ve liked him for so long but I don’t know how to be around him.
I hate my life, no one cares about me.
I don’t know what I want to do in life.
I have no friends
I can’t get a job
My family hates me
You know what my reply is to all of these problems?
Go somewhere, get out of the house and just DO something. Focus on yourself! Not what everyone thinks of you.
You are wonderful.
In 5 years time, you are going to be in a completely different place, the people who you cant live without right now? In five years time I guarantee you’ll be living without half of them.
You have the freedom to do anything you want.
Stop focusing on what this guy thinks of you. You like him? Well thats not going to change unless you talk to him! You are amazing, and if he doesnt see that then he isnt the one for you!

So what I’m trying to say is:
Stop taking everything so seriously, everything is going to be okay and if you’re unhappy, change it! You have the freedom to do anything you want to do!

Rant over.

Any thoughts?

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Deleted User said 11 years ago:

*starts slow clap*……

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Deleted User said 11 years ago:

Nice advice… a tad generic though, eh?

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lynn9 said 11 years ago:

* continues the slow clap* …..

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Deleted User said 11 years ago:

That’s an excellent mentality. I think we often get caught up in the present that we fail to look ahead at what will come in the future.

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Deleted User said 11 years ago:

Unfortunately just willing yourself to be more positive and get out doesn’t solve real problems. Usually negative ingrained traits are instilled in us throughout childhood until we no longer dispute them. They become truth. Then we get older move away from our family and all of the baggage we’ve learned from our family hangs over us like a dark cloud at times. There are behaviours that have to be changed, values that have to be discussed, self-defeating self-talk and behaviours that keep getting us in trouble. There are real problems to be solved but we don’t have the skill not the knowledge to solve them. There are many forms of therapy that can help people with a wide range of problems. Only when you talk with an unbiased person can you untangle the thoughts and behaviours that keep getting you in trouble. It takes time, patience, strength, and courage to really look at yourself and attempt to change for a better life.

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Sentinel said 11 years ago:

I definitely agree that the lessons learned in childhood are bound to stay with us for a great deal of our lives; that much is inarguable as its been covered by scientists the world over. I am, however, afraid I am going to have to fundamentally differ with you on a few other of your points @ggshop.

First of all, willing a positive mindset has a name in psychology: it is called self-regulation and it is found to increase happiness, self-esteem and reported self-efficacy in day to day life. Self-regulation entails controlling your own mind set and emotions to an extent, rather than being subject to the whims of your emotion. This type of message definitely promotes breaking free from the shackles we ourselves see.

Further, this type of thought process drives us, as I mentioned, to break free from our constraints. And you are right, this is not a LASTING/LONG-TERM goal for everyone, but it is a first step. It is an idea, and ideas hold with them the dream of betterment: the will to break the stagnation that grips us all at some point.

And lastly, it takes a split second to view your life; anyone who has stood at the edge will tell you the same thing. What takes time are the skills to change, that you did mention.

All in all, kickass stuff @alexx

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Deleted User said 11 years ago:

I understand self-regulation as the ability to manage emotions in a reasonable way when interacting with your physical environment. Your emotions do not swing from one end of the spectrum to another based on something that has happened or something that someone has said. But the ability to do this is an advanced skill in my books. Someone who is depressed or hates their life cannot just jump to an advanced skill like this. Sometimes they don’t even know why they feel the way they do or even what triggers those emotions. Of course people are in various stages of ability when dealing with difficulties in life and some who have less debilitating issues can just will themselves to be more positive by forcing themselves to get out there and do something they enjoy instead of just wallowing in sorrow or being lonely. All I know is we can all help each other. We all have been through different things and can understand those younger than us and what they are going through. We have different skills and talents and can help those that have not developed those skills and talents yet. When I say view your life I mean to delve into why you make the same mistakes over and over when really you want a better life. To admit you are afraid or feel alone and then attempt to do something about it. How to get momentum when you are stuck is an interesting subject..

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