Chwati:) said 10 years, 11 months ago:

Why does that sound so familiar? Probably because everyone is saying it- “Relax! Just be yourself”. Whenever I heard someone say something like that, in my head I thought, “What? What do you mean JUST BE YOURSELF? What makes you think I’m someone else!?” I think what they’re trying to say is, “Don’t hesitate to do something, do what you feel like because you want to”. I have to be honest, it is hard to “just be yourself”. No one has ever told me how to and I didn’t clearly understand what it meant. People are always judging and people are always expecting something from me. It left NO SPACE to JUST BE ME. In kindergarten I wanted to colour the sky pink because it was my favourite colour but they said “You SHOULDN’T. The sky is blue.” so I coloured it blue instead. In secondary school I watched cartoons but they said, “You SHOULDN’T. Cartoons are for babies. Why don’t you watch the news?” So I watched the news instead. Now I say I want to sing, they say “Why do you want to waste your time singing when you could be doing math and science?” but I didn’t stop. I sang and realised I didn’t have the vocals. I can’t afford a trainer so I started mixing songs. I do mash ups and remixes. I don’t know how good they are but that’s who I am. I’m not harming anyone by doing this. I’m messing with songs in my own way to keep myself happy. I didn’t stop doing math and science and I didn’t stop colouring the sky blue. I tried doing what others told me to but this time I did something very few might have the guts to do. I am being judged on and off. People say I am right and I am wrong. Judgements are cheap and are found everywhere. For all I know, the beggar on the street thinks my top looks hideous with my shoes. It is time I raised my own voice and stood out in the crowd. It is time I valued myself over others. It is time I stopped listening to others and started listening to myself.

Why was I so afraid to be myself? By succumbing to what others said I should be, I was lost and dissatisfied. You can never expect 100% from human beings. They are hard wired to never be completely satisfied for too long. Else we would be living in peace and harmony, in a boring environment with absolutely no changes. I kind of understand why others won’t accept you for who you are. The moment they realise we are better than them, they feel it is duty to bring us down and stand on top of us. Sometimes we fear the judgement of our loved ones. I was scared that if I didn’t do what they said they would stop showing me the love and affection they show now. I feared I wouldn’t be accepted because I could express myself and I would have to be alone.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” – Maryanne Williamson.

That quote couldn’t have expressed how I have felt in a better way. Most of us don’t know what we want because we are so used to being told what to do and how to do, we lose touch with ourselves. That actually explains my story. We are A LOT MORE than our school grades, degree, job and profession. It is really scary and difficult to come out. But once it you do, it is all about becoming a better individual to yourself and looking for motivation to keep you going. It is about being spontaneous. It is about doing things different from the pattern society has set. Being yourself isn’t about wearing make up, wearing trendy clothes, etc. so that people will notice your efforts. It is more about wearing make up and clothes that make you actually feel good so you stand out and people notice the right efforts.

I really hope this topic has inspired some or any of you to open up and be more of yourselves. I’m really working on opening myself up too. If not, I only wish I could have done better. Any comments, criticisms, etc etc, I would love to hear them!

Don’t hesitate to send me a message Would love to hear from you

Thanks for reading! xoxo