Will my husband think less of me because we’re unable to conceive?


I’ve had a miscarriage in 2009 and an ectopic pregnancy last April. Those were the only times I got pregnant, both of which were failures. If you were in my shoes, will you think of yourself as a failure? If you were my husband, will you be disappointed?

asked June 1, 2014

6 Answers

I first of all want to wish you luck,as well as say that I think you need not worry about your husband,as I am sure he will know its truly no one at fault here,it just cant be helped.
Just to tell you in case it helps when speaking to your Doctor...I have a friend who went through all this,and also misscarried a few times.<br/Eventualy test showed she needed to have a couple of stitches put in place and it kept her from misscarring.But I dont know if this can be done early in pregnancy if needed or not,as she was about half way though. It took a few losses for the doctors to see her problem and that this was something they could do .
Also had another friend that kept loosing her babies after haveing one girl and found out she could never carry boys,for some reason.
That was many years ago now though,and im sure if she was trying now,that they would be able to implant a female for her so she could have more children.
I wonder if any of this may be your case as well,if Your Doctor hasnt looked into this ,may be its some thing you could think about and bring up.
Im just trying to help,and I wish you luck.
If I were in your shoes. No.
If I were your husband. No

That being said. We are not your husband, we're the internet, and we'll be more likely to agree with you than the reality that you're not being honest with your husband.

Please go confront him. Get his opinion, because that's the one you care about. Not the anonymous face of the internet.

If you two are in a loving relationship, this is something the two of you can handle and can only bring you two closer.
Some words from a friend of mine's father, after his wife had several miscarriages and had been rushed to hospital with another suspected:

"I married you because I love you, not because you can be a mother."

Turns out she was pregnant with my friend, but the sentiment is real. His eyes welled up telling me the whole story. He got married because he loved her, wanted to spend his life with her. Not being able to have children would not have changed his love at all.

You are who are you the day you got married, you were in love.
I agree with ink We cant tell you that but I don't know why he would and I hope he does not. I am in the same boat. Have been trying 5 years and my partner has been nothing but supportive. If you like you can msg me and we can chat about this. I know quite a lot about fertility.
I just want to add this. I do feel like a failure at times. that is actually a normal feeling. but it shouldn't be a feeling you have to live with. so you should see someone. And your husband might b disappointed. Not in you but the fact he couldn't help you.
If I was the husband I would be upset, for my child and for you, I'd realize that you would feel terrible about it and try and comfort you. If I was you I would be very upset and may take some time to accept what had happened, never think less of yourself, he loved you for who you are, he won't think less of you but you should really speak to him about your feelings. He is the only one who can answer you.