Why won’t she tell me?

This morning my dad’s girlfriend told me that her dad was in the hospital and I asked her what was wrong with her dad. No answer.

I also recall that when her grandson was in the hospital too for a month, that was a few months ago. She wouldn’t tell me why her grandson was there.

People tell me it’s not my business, it’s not about what I want, details don’t matter, etc.

Then that’s where I blew up and got mad at her because when she tells me things, she didn’t tell me more or finish what she was saying.

I’m trying to find the info on books and I still don’t understand what I’m doing wrong. When I vented about this problem of mine, I had negative replies. How is that supposed to help me? That won’t help me to learn.

I think I know why I’m upset or when I get too mad, it’s because my mom and my grandma aren’t here. So it has nothing to do with my dad’s girlfriend. But it’d be nice to know what I’m doing wrong.

Category: Family asked July 14, 2014

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Sparkles

145

4 Answers

It's perfectly fine to want to know more, but sometimes people either need time to open up, or feel that it's their business and not yours. I understand your frustration, but please try to respect her wishes. And if given the chance, sit down and have a heart to heart. Explain your frustrations, apologize for blowing up, and use this as a chance to gert closer to her. Allow her the chance to build a close bond with you, so she will feel easier about telling you things.

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MysticMoon

233

Maybe you should reassure her that you are there for her whenever she needs someone to talk too about these things, i'm sure she will open up to you eventually. x

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Slvtsquatt

She might not have known what to say herself.
These are the times that you remember after a breakup and say to yourself "Damn, her dad was in the hospital and I brought more drama into her life/got angry and was distant in a moment of need, what's wrong with me?". I guess it's ok to get angry at her for a second, one can't help it sometimes, but then you should take a minute to challenge your thoughts and ask yourself if you should really be angry. The root of 'why' you get angry, can come to you later; for now you can work on the symptoms, and how they can affect your relationships. Giving into anger isn't a shortcut to self awareness.
If you want, give a read to "I Need Your Love - Is That True?", by Katie Byron, it gives many examples of approaching thoughts critically.

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rinseandrep

7,397

I don't think your doing anything wrong, its okay to want to know whats going on around you. She probably isn't comfortable with you yet. Let her know you are there for here and that she can trust you. Eventually she will be able to tell you. You just have to be more patient.

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Marcella