Why is it so hard for me to find a boyfriend?


I am a 37 year old gay guy. I have never dated in my life. I feel lonely many times when I see other people in relationship. I feel something is wrong with me or my body. I am also getting old and most gay guys are interested in young guys I think. I have a decent body but also go to gym to get six pack body, only because I think then guys will be more interested in me. I have a friend who is 29 years old and gets tons of attention. I sometimes feel envy. Please help.

Category: Tags: asked November 1, 2014

5 Answers

Maybe it's time you make a move. If you happen to see someone you're attractive with and can see yourself dating don't be scared to approach them. I know it's easier said than done but as you said so yourself you have a decent body then all you need is the confidence to make a move.
You're 37 and have no experience dating. Instead of trying to make a move as suggested by another person, you might want to seek counseling to find out what has prevented you from intimacy so far in life. 37 years is a long time to have never had a date with anybody in your life. Working out at a gym is actually a great place to meet a gay man, so is a gay bar. there are some bars that cater to younger gay men, while others have an older crowd, if you are lucky enough to live in a big city like New York, or Los Angeles. If that doesn't work for you, you could also try volunteering for local chapters of gay organizations in your area. But I'm thinking that if you have never dated anyone in your life, that it's not because of your looks or your age, but perhaps it's because of fear or communication problems or other things that could be uncovered between you and a therapist. Good luck!
Thank you Sam and Johnny. I have had many dates that lasted for short time, but no boyfriends. Many of the times it is only sexual relationship, but I am looking for something more. And yes there could be a problem with my communication, body language, confidence or even the way I present myself, guys might mis-understand. I will try and improve that. Also I like the idea of volunteering. Thats a good environment to talk to other gay guys without any pressure.Thanks again both of you!
Have you tried a dating site? Do you attend rallys and pride functions? That is an excellent place to meet someone.
I have tried dating sites, but again many of the dating sites sometimes guys are looking for hookup or they just do endless conversation online, which I don't like. I haven't tried rallys or pride functions, will do that. Thanks Jonathan!