So i recently posted a question about my friend/boyfriend/whatever you wanna call him,Nick. That’s a whole other story. We’ve been having a little side-thing going on lately, like we aren’t dating and i don’t really want to be in a relationship, but we have a friends-with-benefits thing going on. He seems to treat me like we’re more than friends. He holds my hand and just..i don’t know, treats me like his girlfriend! It’s all really confusing. To put it simply- I don’t want to be in a relationship with him, but I can’t help but have those feelings for him… Maybe i don’t have a choice, should we just date? It’s really hard to like someone and pretend like you don’t. Advice? If you need me to clarify anything, please ask!! Ariana
Ariana.If you feel nothing affectionate or deeply emotional toward him, then you need to do him a favor and cut him off. While it may be difficult to say no, learning to do so is a valuable life skill.If you're not comfortable with hand-holding and general affection, then don't do it. Do not ever force yourself to do something you don't want to do, just to appease someone. That is a dangerous, meaningless, tragic path.Be true to your feelings.
Be honest with him. He deserves to know if you just want a fling or a serious relationship. I did the same exact thing once, and it blew up in my face! He ended up hating me for 2 years because i didnt just come out and say what my intentions were. We mended our friendship though.It took a bit, but i thought he was worth keeping as a friend. It's ok to have a beneficial friendship, but you have to know the consequences for doing so and both have to agree on it. Sometimes you might get those feelings, but that doesnt mean go for a relationship. if you dont want to, let him know. it's better if he's hurt about not being in a relationship than thinkinng he is in a relationship when in fact its not intended to be that way. ya know?
Just because he shows affection, doesn't mean you must pursue a relationship with him. Yes he shows affection, but does that mean he is the right guy? Of course not. Showing general affection doesn't demonstrate much of your personality.
If you're not happy and if you don't want to be n a relationship with him, it would be best to end things. I know it's really hard, but things will be better in the end. You'll both have the chance to move on.
Be honest with him. It seems that he might want something different than what you want, and it will only hurt him in the end if you string him along.Another poster mentioned that he might just be naturally more affectionate... maybe ask him what his intentions are with you.