Why does only the embarrassing and miserable memories stick in my head?

I don’t know why is this happening, but my brain is being a total jerk. My awkward and embarrassing moments are so stuck in my head and keep constantly haunting me, it’s getting really annoying. They just come out of no where, I’m reading or watching TV or trying to sleep and those embarrassing moments keep coming back to me. I mean, some of these things are silly and I know that they don’t really matter all that much and most of them has happened really long ago but they keep haunting me. it seems like all I can remember are the crappy moments. like this one time when some boy bullied me infront of my cousin, or when I snapped and said really hurtful things to my brother. like I had this very close friend during my childhood but my most vivid memory with him is when we had a physical fight. I had lots of good times but when I try to look back, I can only vaguely remember good phases of my life unlike negative ones which come very vividly and keeps coming to my mind without even trying to recall them, almost like an OCD.
I find it much easier to remember times when people have hurt me than good times I had with them. This is really screwing me up and not allowing me to forgive people and come closer to them.
Is this normal? why is it happening and how do I fix it? how do I get over bad memories?

Category: Mental Disorders asked January 30, 2014

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wonder

4 Answers

I think your issue is completely normal, there really isn't anything to fear when it comes to remembering bad things that happened in your life. Everyone I know can recall a time that wasn't so pleasant to them in their past and it "haunts" them to a point. I think that one of the reasons that this is happening is because maybe you haven't learned to cope with these bad or embarrassing memories/moments and it's causing you to think of yourself badly or remind yourself of them over and over again. Maybe you could try writing down all of these bad and embarrassing memories/moments in detail, then afterwards write down all of the great things you've done for people or all of your good memories. This might help to remind you that you're not a horrible person and whenever you're thinking of something bad, counteract it with a reminder of something good. After awhile, this could help you deal with this bad memories and eventually cope entirely to the point that you really don't feel that horribly about them anymore. :)

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JPenaflor

Well I would think that these bad memories are bothering you because you haven't really let them go. Perhaps you need to spend a little bit of time contemplating, remembering, forgiving, and then letting them go. Whenever you recall a bad memory, take a deep breath, remember what happened, think about what you could have done differently, accept that it did happen, tell yourself that you have learned and you will do better next time, and then let go of what happened. You cannot change what has already happened so my only conclusion can be that you need to make peace with it. You're not the only one this happens to. In the early hours of the morning as I am still trying to fall asleep I often think back on memories, and usually embarrassing ones. I used to sit mortified in bed asking myself why I did something so stupid. As I let go of these things and accept them then I can laugh at myself. And remember you can forgive without forgetting too.I am not a professional so if this persists and it really bothers you then maybe consulting with a professional will benefit you. Best of Luck to you!

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Jenny

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Actually, chronic unwanted thoughts is a symptom of OCD. Go see a psychiatrist and get evaluated. There may very well be something you can do about them.

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Humanist Hope

16,417

I know it sucks, but try not too look to close into it. I have the same problem! Just remember how long ago it was and what reason do ypu have to remember it so vividly?

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Nicola