Why does my father do this?


Ok so my father always has been strict. He’s a nice person, but a very strict one. So he wants a perfect daughter. The thing is I always try to be that.
Currently I’m in the 3rd year of university/college , I’m a very good student, I have good grades, I don’t have unprotected sex, don’t do drugs, I drink alchool but never got drunk , I have a nice group of friends…
I mean I think I’m a good daughter right?
The thing is for over a month he COMPLETLY ignores me. Let’s say we’re having dinner, he’s all happy talking to my mum and sister but if I smile and say something he keeps talking like he didn’t listen to me.
He also happened to leave me hanging in public situations like in grocery stores, he always says bad things about me in front of people… it seems like I’ll never make him proud… and when I ask “Dad do you want to talk about this? Is there anything I’m doing wrong?” He just says “I don’t have anything to say to you”. Even my mum asks him why he doesn’t talk to me and he keeps saying the same thing.
Why? I am thinking that maybe it’s because my family doctor decided to send me to a psychologist to deal with my anxiety and depression, so maybe he’s embarassed of me? Cause that doesn’t fit on the “perfect daughter” model?
Please someone help me… I can’t handle this anymore. I feel so bad..
He keeps saying how great his friend’s daughters are but when it comes to me… he looks at me almost with disgust….

Category: Tags: asked September 27, 2015

3 Answers

Its very hard to be the "perfect daughter" and live expectations of others. Your not alone in the battle to want your fathers approval on things and want to have him even acknowledge you in a positive way, my father has done the same to me. Within a year i had massive changes in my life and my father didn't understand. I had to confront him and sit and talk to him, as hard as it was to force him i had to, for him to see all my accomplishes and have him know what has happened. I did write a letter to him explaining my feelings and what has happened. Although he said he did not read the letter it allowed an open communication to have him know im making an effort to open up to him. Just know he also may be going through things himself and trying to understand everything. He also may be feeling like a let down maybe as a father and does not want to confront it. Just know that you are perfect in your own way. Your dad seems like mine and the only way i got the hurt to stop was to yell at him to listen. Its bad but sometimes it works and now i have talking communication with him. Hope i helped.
Hi there. I'm a college student as well and I understand expectations like that. Keep reminding yourself that YOU are doing well and being a model student and daughter. YOU are seeking help to better yourself and maybe he simply is unsure of how to act around you. Keep strong and if you need someone to talk to...feel free to reach out. I hope everything works out, but let me just say that you truly sound like an amazing young lady.
I'm much younger than you (A sophomore in highschool) but nobody has given you support yet, so I think I will... I'm so sorry that your dad is treating you like that. My dad would never do that, (Even though my parents are bent on the idea that I'm in that "Angsty Teenager" phase. They have the idea that I'm not grateful for their support. Heh off topic...) Anyways, have you asked your mom why he's acting so rude?