why do I get bored of those I love? | BlahTherapy - Online Therapy and Counseling Services.

why do I get bored of those I love?

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I’m afraid that something’s terribly wrong with me.

Over the past years I had several friendship, but not a single one lasted because I somehow grew tired of them and I didn’t even understand why.
I don’t know what it is that makes me treat people I care about so badly.
The conversations (real conversation as well as chat conversations) get repetitive and make me feel uncomfortable. It’s like I can feel everything breaking, slowly but surely. You might say that it’s normal that friends come and go, but in my case it always begins with me getting kind of bored of people and feeling like I’m boring and bothering them, too. On the other hand, I guess I might hurt or disappoint people my weird and possibly not understandable behaviour (ignoring them all of a sudden etc.)

This whole thing has been an issue for several years… but I’m afraid that I might lose a person who means a lot to me. He’s an online friend of mine, we’ve known each other for more than 10 months and usually we get along very well. We have lots of common interests and similar word views. I’m quite sure that I have a crush on him but I’m not sure if he wants us to be more than just friends. We made plans to meet in person next year.
Lately I noticed that I get bored of chatting with him too… and I don’t understand why. I catch myself hoping that he’s not online and making excuses why I wasn’t able to chat with him for a few days. But why am I lying to him, why do I feel uncomfortable while chatting with him all of a sudden, why do I feel so cold and indifferent ? Today I considered telling him that I end our friendship so that I never have to talk with him again, but fortunately I didn’t do it. I guess he likes me and I wouldn’t want to hurt him. Some days I feel like I’m in love with him, he makes my days a lot brighter and I’m so glad that I’m able to make him happy too. But lately… I feel different, at least sometimes… and I regret having started it all, because I’m going to ruin it and hurt him.

I have no idea what to do, and I don’t know what’s happening to me. Please… help me. I feel like a cold-hearted monster.

Category: Tags: asked December 27, 2014

3 Answers

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I can relate to your story and to how you feel. It's not easy to be indifferent at times and to be confused about feelings. I understand that one day you wouldn't want to talk and the other day you feel like you love a certain person. You seem conflicted about your feelings. Friendships can disappear sometimes because people get tired of each other, they meet new people and they move on. Sometimes friends who could talk for hours and hours, suddenly can't even have some small talk. Though it doesn't always have to be that way. There are still people out there who have friends in their lives for a long time. You're not a cold hearted monster. It's not easy to define what you feel inside and which path to follow. Do what feels right for you. Sometimes it might do you well to take a little break and to do something else for a while. If you keep having the same routine and chat with the same people every time, you might get a bit bored of it. Sometimes you need to mix things up a bit and do something else for a while. Constantly chatting with the same people will not only get you tired, but them as well. Take a few days every once in a while to reflect on things and after that it'll be more comfortable to have a chat again.
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It might seem like these people become less interesting, but from my experience it's because of being unable to express things that are interesting to us. Basically a lack of taking risks, a lack of opening up (being vulnerable) eventually makes any relationship become dull. Do you find yourself unable to express or engage in the things which you are interested in?
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I think we have the same issues that i have before. I like to have real connection with people but turns out it gets boring and some routine sucks so i go out to meet other people.. at the end. i lost them. and the superficial ones stayed. when i realized that. i have to regain back my friendships.. and when i did.. that was good but what made my friendships last. is we are very far and i dont oblige myself to talk to them everyday. it's like.. have a time of yourself alone.. :)