Why can’t I fix myself?

I can't figure out what is going through your head, but please understand that depression often results from a chemical imbalance in the brain. I have those same feelings.

Not sure if you want a solution, but simply smiling, even if fake, releases the feel-good/happy chemical, dopamine. I used to fake smile a lot or even watch a funny YouTube video to cheer myself up. It's not abnormal to be depressed at your age sometimes!