What’s wrong with me?

There is nothing wrong with you Lena. We all struggle with our past. It's what our demons like playing with the most. You shouldn't be disappointed in your past though. It exists so we can make mistakes and learn from them. It's what made you who you are today and you should be proud of that. Because who you are today can look at who you were yesterday and make who you want to be tomorrow. And don't worry about how unproductive you think you are. Time is all that it takes to improve yourself, because like I said everyone needs time to mess up enough for us to know how to do things right. Try not to be so hard on yourself in the meantime. You'll get there.

Well i am a teenager too and that is completely normal.So don't worry you will get yourself together in a few years. Don't need to be depressed about that!.Don't worry and be happy :)

I have to start off by saying you sound so much like me. You are not alone in your feelings and fears.I agree with the previous answers. There is nothing wrong with you. Feeling intense emotions is okay, and very normal for a teenager. And it's better to let them out than hold them in. Just be aware of how you direct them, and wait for them to clear before making decisions.The future and change are scary things, but they are inevitable. It's up to you to take charge and make them the way you want them to be. You have your whole life ahead of you and it can be awesome if you make it so.I'm not sure what makes you feel like a disappointment to your family; whether they are expressing it to you directly or if you are just afraid that you are? But all you can do is your best. If you are doing your best, don't let others bring you down. I'm sure your family is proud of you and, regardless, you should be proud of yourself.Don't be down on yourself. I had the same problem, beating myself up, calling myself a disappointment and insulting names. It hurts and damages way more than you'd think it would and you will begin to believe it. It took me years to get out of that mindset. Be kind to yourself.Most of all: Do not forget that you matter. You are important and there are many people who care about you. Taking your own life is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Whatever your situation, it will pass. It will get better.If you ever feel that you might act on suicidal thoughts, please consider calling the Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1 (800) 273-8255. And please continue to talk and express yourself here and anywhere else you feel safe.Here for you and wishing you the best. :)

There is nothing wrong with you. In fact, I somewhat envy you. Embrace your emotion, because there are some who have lost the capability to feel altogether. Let yourself feel it all, good and bad, because it is the brightest sign that you are normal. You are human, and there is precisely nothing wrong with being human.As for productivity / insecurity issues, you must allow yourself the time to get through it. Telling yourself "well I want to be that way now why can't I be that way now" will only hinder your progress. Start small, and move along that small thread of improvement. It's a process, not an instantaneous result. (A mistake I've made many times myself, believe me.)Be kind to yourself as best you can. Even if it's as simple as saying "I'm not actually that bad" every now and then. Allow yourself to rely on the strength of the loved ones around you, take your time, and build up the strength to eventually stand on your own. I believe that is the real reason people become strong in the first place, tbh. We don't want to live in each other's misery. Not really.