What’s with guy friends?


It’s come to my notice that for an alarmingly large amount of time, my ideas of happiness have been floundering in what would have been a little more than despondency if i were what i considered normal.
I shouldn’t have a reason to be unhappy, though. I have everything i need.
My best friend…?
I’ve known him since i was 11, and that makes it 6 years.
I moved when we became “friends”, which was sad, but not really, because I didn’t know how much he would mean to me.We kept in touch through email and calls.
I met him a couple of times over the last three years, whenever I was in his town.
I have to admit, like any other cliche teenager, I did have something of a crush on him for a substantial amount of time. It never manifested into anything else though, he had a girlfriend (not that it affected me).
They broke up a year ago.
He stopped calling.
I didn’t.
He feigned deafness whenever i brought up how he’d changed, why he couldn’t call and the lot.
The few times he didn’t, he would tell me stuff like “people change”.

I get it. Really. People change.
But I need proof that he expects me to give up…… on whatever little friendship we have left.
I can’t concentrate on important things anymore.
As stupid as i sound, he was the reason behind my happiness.
Am I expecting too much, just because I expect him to call?

Category: asked March 12, 2015

4 Answers

Well he's not really revealing to you his whole heart by just saying "people change." It's kind of a cop-out. All that to say - I get how frustrating that is because it can be hard to find closure when that is the case. Sometimes you just have to accept that a person is not willing to give you the closure you're looking for and you have to find a way to create your own closure. You don't always get the luxury of having the "proof" you want from people unfortunately. That's just people and that's just life. And that doesn't mean it has to prevent you from moving on and being truly happy. You deserve a friend/person who you can have an equal exchange with. It shouldn't be like pulling teeth. It just sounds like he's become distant for some reason and he wants it that way. The ball is in his court. There are other people in the world that you will meet who can offer you what you are looking for. I would say let go. You did try to talk to him after all.
I understand you completely. This is what I am going through right now. It hurts, it makes us lose control of many things around us. I would like to find an answer as well.
You can't control how other people change. Even the closest of friends can grow apart especially when there is a physical distance. It sounds like he has moved on and maybe you should too. You don't have to forget how he made you feel, but you do need to accept that your relationship with him has changed.
Thanks a bunch Vivid Melody. You're right. The ball Is in his court, and I have given him the benefit of the doubt. I'm better of without him, but I'm not going to cut him off. That would mean sinking to his level. Thank you too Infinite Shadow. What you say makes sense. Mandy, you're right. And I'm glad you guys are friends again.Thanks Y Z N.