What’s the best way to help some one who wants to self harm/suicidal thoughts?

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I just really want to help my girlfriend of 16 months I love her dearly how can I make her feel better?

Category: asked January 22, 2015

7 Answers

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it's difficult to help another person with depression. recovery is all about changing one's own mindset, and it's not something you can bring upon them. however, there's ways to encourage growth & happiness. ask her about her day and what some of the positives were. tell her you love her. try not to talk about depression a lot unless she brings it up or really seems like she's in a bad way. above all, just be there for her and do things that make her happy while keeping in mind that you deserve to be happy in this relationship, too. this may sound a bit strange but one thing that helped me was getting a plant! having the responsibility of keeping it healthy and being able to watch it grow helped my attitude about life quite a bit. it sounds like you really care about this person. make sure she knows how much you care. i wish you both the best.
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Express how important she is to you, how much she is loved, and make it clear that you are here for her if she wants to talk. Do this often- sometimes people get shy about expressing these things, and if you don't remind them, they feel like it might be an imposition.But you can't be held responsible for her happiness, and you should not take all of this on your shoulders, alone. Encourage her to speak to someone- maybe a parent or sibling, or a close friend. The long term goal would be to get her to go to a therapist- bring this up with her gently, not during an argument or when you are tense, and (if you are comfortable with it), maybe you could be involved in the process by taking her to her appointment, or even going in with her the first time.Best of luck! Keep communications open, repeatedly tell her how important she is, and how you want to help her, and do your best to help her find professional help :)
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I strongly agree with the post above mine. There's not much you can do to help your girlfriend get over her depression, except be there for her. If your girlfriend gets agitated or annoyed when you discuss her depression, try to stay away from that topic since it could make her depression worsen. But make sure she knows that you're there to support her if she decides to get help.
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There is actually a lot that you can do to help someone who is depressed.one of my friends has been depressed before and I made sure to tell him how much he meant to me and I would help him through things every day. He wanted to do things because he hated himself and I convinced him out of it. Even though a lot of people would say to ignore it and make them feel happy, what you really need to do is talk about their problems with them and try to resolve some of them and that will make them feel better and get better. If it gets too bad for you and their other friends to handle then you might want to have them see a therapist who could supply them with anti-depression medicine. I hope this helps and email me or chat with me for more help if you need it!
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I suffer with severe depression and i have self harmed and tried to kill myself multiple times. and the only way that i can really get out of that mindset is i have to hit rock bottom in order to realise that what im doing isnt just affecting me. i have my friends and family and my girlfriend to support me but it never really seems to work for me. like they always tell me that i have them but when your that low sometimes it doesnt really go in, it just feels like its yourself against the world. even if it isnt!! so id agree with all of the above, there isnt much you can really do.. if you girlfriend hasnt been to the drs i would advise that you ask her to go so that maybe she can get some medication or even get referred to a councilor i found that helpful although the first few sessions were very hard and hit me quite hard so i would also be prepared for the backlash of that, cause opening up about it is quite hard for most people with depression.I hope that this helps
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It's nearly impossible to take this sort of thing into your own hands and fix it, especially if you don't have the certification to treat mental disorders like depression. The most you can do is be very supportive. There will be some days when your girlfriend will be at her absolute worst, and it will be very hard to make her feel any better. Just try to stay with her when she is not doing well. It is likely that she will stay home from work or school when she is having a depressive episode, so stay home with her or visit her if you can. That doesn't mean that you are chained to her until she no longer has depression, but as long as you love her, treat her with as much sensitivity as you can. I understand that is hard to not become frustrated sometimes; you may just wish your girlfriend was "normal", but please don't take it out on her. As much as it is to see your loved one struggle in this way, it's even harder for her. Always keep that in mind when so you don't say something that could upset her, because one insensitive comment could make her world crumble, especially coming from someone she loves very much. But just because she suffers from depression doesn't mean she isn't like other girls. You have to look beyond her imperfections and see herself before her disorders. You have to definitely be more cautious of what you say to her, but don't let that make you feel like you are handling an emotional "bomb" that could be set off with one wrong move. She is your girlfriend, not a mental disorder. Treat her like any other loved one. When she has low self-esteem, give her compliments. If she says things like, "I'm not really perfect" or "I'm not [insert compliment]!", tell her, "You may not be perfect, but you're just what I want." As for her self-harm and suicidal thoughts, advise her to seek professional help. In the case that she refuses to get help, try to get her to look forward to the little things to keep her from committing suicide, like the start or end of a tv season, the release of a book or game, even a sunny day. Don't feel offended by this, but don't make her look forward to your future together, as much as it seems to be helpful. You shouldn't make such promises to your girlfriend when she is in a fragile state like this because of the possibility of things not working out for whatever reason. A girlfriend without depression would feel extremely sad when you broke a promise like this, but she would eventually have to move on. A girlfriend with depression may not even be able to recover from that one day because she may go as far as to kill herself out of the sadness of such a broken promise. I know that it is very upsetting to imagine, but you must keep in perspective to realize you and your girlfriend could break up, whether it is because of one losing interest, or things just can't work out. It could save your girlfriend from hurting much more than she already would. You can't really do much else since it won't be the same as getting her to see a therapist or psychologist. It's very good of you to be so concerned for your girlfriend. Best wishes for the both of you.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0umb_WksfnU This video is really helpful to people who cut