I don’t really know the difference anymore.
I’ve been thinking about my problems, and I know the answers are all obvious to me and everyone else, but I don’t do it because I have special bonds with these people.
Example, a friend of mine is often yelling at me for playing a game as a game, and not taking her into account ‘as much as I should’ while playing. What should I do? Remind her that it’s a game or leave her.
Example, a guy I love is rude, and everyone else also says so. His feeligs waver every week or few days, so should I like him? No, I should ditch his sorry ass.
But those are rude things to do, because I made promises to both of them, and I have special relationships with these two. The girl is my bestest friend over the internet, and the boy was my first crush that I’m dating. If I ask anyone what to do, giving them only the details of what they do to me, they’ll tell me to leave. And I tell myself to leave, as well.
But doesn’t that mean it’s only right to leave everyone else I know, too? It’s not only those two that have ruined my life. Infact, they’ve improved my life more than anyone else has. But even I know it’s better to leave them, but I do that with everyone. I always leave everyone. Is it right to do this again and again? I mean, I hate being left behind, but I go on with it because the other person wished for it. But all my friends are sensitive, and will see me as another backstabber and liar if I go. And I will miss my times with them, as they are irreplacable, so..
Is being alone, leaving every body behind in the end, the right thing?
Or is juggling everyone’s happiness on my weak body what I’m supposed to do?
They’re too reliant on me to just get up and leave them and I just am not sure what I’m supposed to do with people’s feelings anymore. Hurt them with the truth that I’m tired of things, or prioritize their happiness? I’m always happy anyways, so my happiness is out of this..