What should I do with myself?

I’ll start off by saying that me and my girl friend of 2 years almost broke up about a week ago. We managed to come up with a compromise that we’d wait till the end of the month before making the final decision. I told her that I would change and reconsider my expectations from her. In the past I had more expectations from her than she could give…end of story (obvious fight).

She said we could have this last chance to make things work and of course I really want it to if it can happen. My problem is that while she is probably “trying” to make things work, it seems as though she is acting more rebellious in terms of behavior. I don’t want to assume that it’s intentional, but lets just say that “That Phone” is way too up in her business every min I’m with her. I don’t want this to become a rant, but believe me…if there is one thing I hate about SOME girls…is that damn phone they have to be on doing things like going on instagram, twitter, facebook, etc…I’m really sorry for those who like it…but seriously…there is a time and a place for that and when you’re with your boyfriend or girlfriend…that is not the place and it is definitely NOT ok to be using it for EVERY SINGLE second I’m your boyfriend or girlfriend is not talking. Not only is that rude, but it’s highly disrespectful especially when that person is taking time out of their day to spend with you. Essentially this is becoming more of a problem and I bite my tongue as much as I can, but it is very hard to spend time with her when all she seems interested in is playing Clash of Clans (which..yes is addicting) or going on instagram and facebook every time we’re not talking. It literally goes like (conversation…she talks less…she stops talking…I look over and there she is completely in that separate world…now I’m sitting/standing there with a girl next to me completely ignoring me and everyone around her…splendid)

Really, I’m so sorry if I offend anyone, but seriously I need help with her. She is not a boring person at all and I love spending time with her, but lately (even before the fight) all she seems to do is just spend time on her phone and I have no clue what to do other than to sit there starring in front of me until she’s done. Before, I didn’t have as much of a problem with this because it’d happen maybe 20% of the time, but now it’s like 99% of the time and it makes me rage inside. I even tried being stupid enough to use my phone when she does…but guess what…that only comforted her more into spending MORE time on the phone since she figure “I was busy too”. She gets mad if I talk about it or bring it up so that’s unfortunately not the best option even if that is the best one. I’m running out of patience just sitting there…leaving her would just be stupid since that won’t solve the problem…and if anything it’ll just create awkward friction between us.

Yea I know it sounds like I don’t want a solution, but I figure I’m not the only one who ever had this problem so any suggestion would be nice.

Category: Dating & Relationships Tags: #phone #problems #unhealthy relationship asked May 20, 2014

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-Brandon-

102

3 Answers

You said you would change for her. While I do believe in compromise, make sure you aren't changing for her so much that you are compromising yourself. The other thing that concerns me is that you talk about having expectations from her. It sounds like you had some unrealistic expectations because you had to reconsider your expectations of her. Too many expectations will always leave you disappointed. It really doesn't seem like she wants this relationship to work as much as you do. You said that her handling of the phone is disrespectful to you. Knowing that, the question you should be asking yourself is why do you allow yourself to be so disrespected? I've seen it happen many times where a person in a relationship wants to end it, but they don't want to be the one ending the relationship. So what they end up doing is making the other person miserable, so that the other person ends the relationship. She may be doing this with you. You've made attempts to talk to her about her phone use around you, only to have that conversation get her mad. You said that leaving her would be stupid since that won't solve the problem. The only problem I see is that you are crazy about this girl, and she doesn't feel the same about you. You are then left with two options. Since you've already talked to her about the phone issue, either accept her as she is (and her lack of respect for you), or break it off. It's your decision.

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Akasha

104

My other half is exactly the same. She's constantly on her phone on Facebook, the first thing she does when she wakes up is grabs her phone n scrolls through fb, last thing at night, during meals, when we're watching a film and tbh it really annoyed me to at the start of the relationship, even to the point where we started arguing about it. It's hard believe me as you think that all the love and attention you give her isn't appreciated because she doesn't return it in the same way. For me I accepted the fact that she was a fb addict and I also accepted that to be one of her activities I didn't like, but I also realised that her pros easily outweigh this lil con of being with her as even though she doesn't give me the amount of attention I give her, I still know she loves me and cares for me even though she wants to be on fb most of the time. My advice would be just to sit down and talk to her about it and just really discuss how this issue makes you feel, and if she is unwilling to take your feelings into account then I guess you have you're answer on how she really feels about you. Remember a relationship takes two to work.

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Atlas

Have a proper communication with her, if that won't work.Show up less, instead just text her or chat her up. You can save a lot of time and effort with a cyber girlfriend. if she don't appreciate you for taking your time just to be with her, well how about that.

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icychoco

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