What should I do in my situation?

Hey, I’m going to keep this very brief.

Me and my girlfriend would have been together 3 years at the end of this month (May 2015). She temporarily broke up with me a ffew days ago because she wasn’t sure about how she felt beeing in a relationship anymore. You could say a ‘break’ in a way. I’m 21 and she’s 19 (16 and 18 getting together), she still says she loves me and everything is still on good terms between us (not speaking at the moment due to brake up, giving her time and space).
I guess what I’m asking is,
1. What should I do now? Am I doing the right thing giving her time and space?
2. Is there anything I could do to help persuade her to give us a chance?
3. With our 3 year anniversary coming up, and us where we are now, not seeing or speaking to eachother (out of choice not hatred or resent), do I give a card? A present? Ask if she wants to meet or something? Or just a simple text/phone call to let her know that I’m thinking of her and I miss her on our special day?

I don’t want to confuse her or mess with her in anyway, she has been amazing over the past 3 years with me and my family, I just want to do the right thing by her, but I do hope more than anything that I can win her back.

Any advice, big or small is greatly appreciated! Past experiences or just recommendations! Thanks

Category: Dating & Relationships asked May 3, 2015

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Cloud999

6 Answers

1 accepted

I think you're doing a good thing giving her some time, having a little cool off period where you can both take a step back and think about your relationship and yourself as individuals and where you want to go in life, aspirations and that kind of thing. As much for you as for her.

In any case, wether you remain apart or get back together, you need to have a talk. She owes you that at the very least. Even if it's just to confirm that it's over, period. In that at least, you will get some closure to help put in behind you. No one likes it when things end, but in the end it takes two to tango, and you need to want it as badly both of you, or it might end up even worse down the line in the future.

So yeah, reach out to her. Ask her out for a coffee or something, just to catch up and have a conversation. See how she is.

I wish you the best of luck, I really do. And if she has second thoughts about breaking it off, then that's great. But also be open to the idea that it might be it.

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Hearmenow

1,884

3 years indeed is a long time.
Are you sure you haven't done anything to her, like made her jealous unintentionally, forgot an important date or whatsoever?
Because I believe she wouldn't just break up with you without no reason, man, 3 years is a very long time.
Speaking of a long time, maybe she really just need some "space and time" for herself. Girls are complicated. They do stupid things. Stupid decisions. And of course, it's up to you to prove and made them realize that they've made wrong moves. I am a girl too. And sometimes that space means "WAITING FOR YOU TO MAKE A MOVE, PROVE IT THAT YOU REALLY LOVE ME." All I can say is... even if you're not with each other, make sure that you're with her in your simple ways. A simple "How are you" can help. But don't keep on bugging her. keep it short and sweet. And maybe give her a surprise on your anniversary. In that case, you can prove your worth to her.
BTW, you should know why she broke up with you... she might be having some problems, ask her friends but don't stalk her... that's creepy.. :) That's all I can share.. Drop on my inbox if you have more questions or if you want to talk... Good luck! Win her back!

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LibbyIhlyn

Mr. @Cloud999, Quality time is important in a relationship.
I think you can ask her now... waiting a little longer might make her feel ignored.
Yeah, giving her a little surprise on your anniversary is a good idea. And drop the framed picture! the necklace is enough, with flowers instead. I really hope you guys will be back together.

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LibbyIhlyn

I also forgot to mention that before we "broke up" we decided together that we are going to meet up and talk before making a FINAL decision. We talked about the change that our relationship needed and I have accepted them and made changes but she hasn't given me the chance to prove that I have. I know things will be better this time if we get back together. I also suffer from bad anxiety and can't talk to people when I need to, I keep things bottled in. And because of this it is now turning into depression, and I get bad thoughts about myself and what I will do. I keep thinking of every single mistake I have made in our relationship and it makes me increadibly depressed that I have caused all this, and the way she feels it kills me to know that I made her like that.

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Cloud999

No nothing like that. I think a major part of it is my job. I work alot of night shifts and weekends so we don't get alot of free time together, and when we do I'm so tired and worn out because of work I don't have the energy to plan and do something with her. I'm trying to hold off contacting her just so she knows I can give her the space but I want her to know that I'm thinking about her. We broke up on Wednesday night and it's now Sunday, should I just send a text asking how she is now or wait a little longer? I was planning on asking her to meet me on our anniversary to talk, give her a little gift like a necklace or something, a framed picture of the both of us together and some food at a local resteraunt we both like. That sound like a good idea or no? Thank you!! I hope I do get her back, she means the world to me! :)

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Cloud999

Thank you for the advice! I sent her a quick text message before I went to work last night just asking how she was, hope she has a good night and enjoys herself (I knew she was going out with friends before we broke, not stalking lol) and said that I was thinking about her and we'd speak soon. Her reply had a ffew smiley faces and that in it and seemed happy that I wished her a good night. Just trying hard not to get carried away with it all looking a bit better than thought. I'll keep you posted here but more advice and comments are more than welcome!

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Cloud999