Firstly, I am very sorry for the long post. There are many elements to my life that I have to describe that I don’t think I could do otherwise. I hope you stick with my question until the end, because at this time I don’t know where to go and am needing some help.
I am a young teenager that has just recently moved to another (totally different) country. I didn’t leave any friends behind, fully because I ignored real-life people and created tied with those of higher age and similar hobbies I found online. One of these was a girl I really liked since I met her (2 years ago) and over the past months has developed into a (genuine, not a teen impulse) love from me.
However, she likes another person, and while we have always been very close (I could tell she enjoyed – or enjoys – talking to me) she naturally always put him above me. I am always in need of people, and one month ago I was able to trust in two (her and another girl). But I don’t talk with the latter anymore (I find it mostly displeasing), so she was the only person I could depend on. And I am very fragile without very close bonds, so she was practically the only thing that could support my life.
Not too long ago we stayed late into the night talking (remember, this is over the Internet) and she let her emotions overboard (she was feeling sick). She mistook her feelings as love and told me she really liked me (just as I like her) and many other things I find painful to recall. The next day I spent convincing her that she didn’t really love me: I was unable to put my sake over hers, but when I could, I naturally felt horrible.
The thing is, right now it is all like this has never happened and she acts like it. She apologizes (in a very drastic – positively – manner) to me for what she’s done but I feel absolutely betrayed. Especially when she is the only thing that can support my life, I feel as if I’ve broken the tie connecting me to my own life. She still likes talking to me, but everytime I notice she is talking to her boyfriend and ignoring my messages I feel very bad inside.
The main reason I post this is because it is hurting me academically: my grades are falling all over the place because I can’t put my life together without her. Fortunately my teachers are understanding, but if this keeps up they will not possibly be able to save me anymore. I don’t know what to do, think or feel other than wait… and time really scares me. I know I should give it time, but with time other things happen, and I am really scared about that.
I know I’m missing key details here but I don’t want to make this longer than it should be. Hopefully (please don’t take this wrong) some of you know about these issues and can help me. I’m really running out of options right now. Thanks for your patience through the reading of this text.
