What is this and how can I stop it?

Ok I know I’ve asked a question like this before, but now I’m gonna try making it more detailed.
Well, as some of you might know I have a enemy/ex-friend who I hate so much…I swear, I’ve never had so much hate towards 1 person in my entire life!
But there’s a big problem, we go to the same school.
Now let me tell you about my little rage/anxiety system I have with enemies.
If I am at least 3-4 meters away from the enemy, or alone in a room with them, then my body goes into panic. It starts shaking and trembling, I start sweating, my heart starts beating fast… And I become awkward with everything I do and say. And along with this I get extreme feeling of anger, rage, my mind goes fast…
And then afterwards I just feel depressed.

I’m trying to hard to ignore him but my body refuses, I don’t know what it is and what to do…
It’s not only like that with him, if I just fight with a friend then the next day I get the same symptoms just minus the anger and plus nervousness. We’ve been enemies for a while now though, and the hate just grows stronger.

What can I do about this? I probably look like a terrified lamb when he’s near me and he probably likes it! I want to make him nervous around me, I’m sick of being his Goddamn victim.

There’s also been some invisible feud between us, for example, him taking my seat, humiliating me in many ways, making weird faces if I say something… :/ I wish I’d get rid of this stupid system.

And by the way, no I can Absoulutely not be his friend again. No way. Not after all he’s done.

I even just sometimes go all psychopath and start murdering him in my mind, I wish I didn’t have to face him every fucking day..

Category: Society & Culture asked December 2, 2014

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Uni

179

2 Answers

hey, I don't think you have to be his friend, but you have to make peace with him in your own way. That means forgiving him, not for his sake (he doesn't have to know), but for yourself. Look at him, and think, this is sad, he feels like he needs to act like this but it is because something is happening in his life that he doesn't know how to handle. Realise it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him and forgive that.As for the nervousness and being in the same room, carry comfort objects. This could be as little as your favourite pencil or a hat you like, something that makes you feel loved and wonderful, and when you have to be around him, concentrate on those things.

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penpen

Hiya, I'm sorry you have to go through this.

My advice would be that in this sort of situation, one of you has to make the first move toward moving on. If you don't want to talk or associate with him, don't. All you have to do is rise above it all and be the bigger person. If he goes out of his way to make things difficult for you, just pass it off as immature behaviour and concentrate on other things like your studies, your friends or hobbies etc. This will not only help you to move forward, but it'll also stop him getting satisfaction from making you feel angry and uncomfortable, and he'll eventually stop bothering you because he no longer has such an effect on you.Also, when you start to feel negative feeling in your body, remember to think things through clearly and reasonably in your mind, and your body will follow. Just think if you really want something to be part of your life. For example, if you fall out with a best friend, is what happened worth keeping the friendship? If so, you have to swallow your pride and talk it out. It's a tough thing to do, but in the end it's worth it.

Hope this helps!

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Leafie