I have expressed to my live in boyfriend (has no kids) that it disturbs me when his female friends who he has had a sexual past with but are still friends, are constantly calling or texting him. These women (mostly two) have started their texting at 7:00am on a constant basis with “Good Morning, blah blah blah.” His cell phone has gone off with texts or calls, when we are having breakfast, lunch, dinner, driving in the car, shopping, home, making love, talking, relaxing, fighting, at any time. I tell him they need to learn boundaries, they need to stop being so intrusive in our relationship. He says, “they are my friends, just friends, and they can call or text me whenever they’d like. And I don’t answer the phone when we are together. This is how I have always had friends and I’m not changing. STOP TRYING TO CONTROL ME” The texts, he does answer.
On the weekends, when I am off, he will, sometimes, even go have breakfast, or lunch with either of them instead of going with me. We recently had an argument because he had breakfast with one, then took her to pick up some groceries, then tells me she invited him over for cookies later that day. Later that day he went.. I told him “This is ridiculous, they need to step off. Why is it that they don’t realize this isn’t very respectful of them towards our relationship.” Anyone would say it seems he’s dating them instead of me… However, I don’t feel that there is anything going on. Then he says, “It’s not them causing anything, I’m the one who invites them.” So I tell him.. “You are not being very sensitive or understanding toward my feelings.” So he tells me… “You come into this relationship with Kids (your package), I come into this relationship with female friends (my package)… accept them as I HAVE TO accept your kids…” I told him, “You cannot compare the two, My kids are my responsibility and my package, your friends are not your responsibility, nor your package. I accept your friends, but I don’t have to accept their constant intrusiveness or interference.” My kids are 23 out of the house, 18 in college, and a 10 year old that doesn’t cause trouble. Ummm….He knew I had kids before he moved in with me.. Then he has the nerve to say, (whether joking or not).. “Move your 10 year old off to her father, and then we will talk.. lol”. What is he thinking comparing his female friends and their intrusiveness to me having children?
