What do you say to you’re boyfriend/girlfriend after a fight?
Say you have a fight with your significant other. It gets resolved and ends but theres still that feeling like something’s changed and you still feel horrible about it.. What do you say to them to get the to laugh or smile and to try and make things as they were before?
My last boyfriend lived in the same building, different dorm room as me. So after an argument, we'd usually slip notes or letters under each other's doors. For example, I made him an origami swastika with a poem (I don't want to offend anyone, and it didn't offend him, it was sort of an inside joke referencing an earlier conversation). And another time, my boyfriend found a piece of paper that kept score for a scrabble game we played (while cleaning his room), and he slipped it under my door and wrote something like "I know you're still mad at me, but when you're ready to talk to me, wanna play another game with me?" I really love handwritten notes, because they show more personal effort and thought, and unlike texts, you don't feel the need to respond right away if the other person isn't ready to talk right away. The notes should just be something simple, asking to do something fun together when the other person is ready.
If you're into hip-hop music, you could link this song (Mad by Ne-Yo) to him. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVzRUDwW2rg (skip to 50 seconds in) OR http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sAYuOc7_TKg
But that said, you had an argument, and you just can't wish it away either. He might be looking for a sincere apology, or he might want to talk about it more, or he might just need some time alone to think. So you should respect that too, if he doesn't respond right away. Good luck!
Unfortunately, I don't think there're any magic words that make that feeling go away. I've been through that a number of times and it really sucks, especially the sense of helplessness that the damage is done. The only thing that will heal it is time. Keep in mind that it is only temporary, and again, it takes time for these things to fade away. Maybe an extra "I love you" would be sweet, but the best thing you can do right now is just have patience, even though it's hard. Trying to force it too much will only prolong the bad feeling and I'm sure you don't want that!! Hang in there and stay positive!!
Communicate, perhaps a part of you still feel like the issue hasn't fully been resolved, talk to him. Do something fun, together, maybe something you haven't done in a long time. Or surprise him with something new, you could try out together and have it be "your" thing.
Also, keep in mind that it may take some time, for it to feel normal again, have a little patience, and trust. In yourself, and in your relationship. It will only work, if you make an effort to make it happen, both of you.
Sometimes, things happen that you simply cannot forget or take back, all you can do is try and do the best dealing with the outcome. It's the one thing you can chose, what to do next.
And have a little faith, for
”In order to succeed, we must first believe that we can.”
Communication is key. Being completely and openly honest is the best route to go. Make sure there are no unspoken thoughts go by. Also strong eye contact goes a long way. It shows you are giving them your complete undivided attention. Never Abandon Hope
I suggest let it all out once in for all. Dont leave any anger or negative thoughts behind without clearing them out first. So lets say you had a fight, the next day you reconciled. You two have to share how that fight made you feel or how you guys can avoid having the same issue recurring again in the future. Now after that, tell each other that all is finished and forgiven that you will no longer bring up that topic.. that.you guys will continue to move forward and whatever issue that was, it was part of strengthening your relationship.. After that, talk about funny things. tell each other things that happened that are really interesting or childhood memories? anything that will make each other laugh. You know this stuff, you know what interests him so go for that. i hope that helps :)
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