What do I do? (Relationship)

I have been friends with this guy for about 10 months and we were really close. So about two weeks ago we started dating, it still feels like we are friends but with benefits now.he said I love you two days after we started dating. I think that was to early. He has yet to take me on an actual date, he is usually at my house and we play video games or watch movies. this last weekend he went to the politic expo. While he was there, he saw a girl that was hot and he told me that he would have gon after this hot girl but now he is taken. The only complements I have reserved is that I am cute…. He also will not tell his parents cause he “doesn’t want their crap”. He is 21 and I am his first girlfriend. I want to tell him these things but I don’t want to sound like a complaining B***h. Any ideas? What are your thoughts on this matter?
He is a really great guy and have help me through rough patches, but he doesn’t share that much either….

Also! He never will make decisions so it feels like I’m by my self. And we are in a group of four with one other guy and girl. I no the girl liked joe (my bf) and apparently he liked her too, but he said he didn’t want to peruse her bc she doesn’t make up her mind. I feel like the chase is fun for him an he likes it, but now that he can’t he doesn’t know what to do.

Category: Dating & Relationships asked June 3, 2014

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Straydog5551

6 Answers

1 accepted

I actually went through the same thing with my husband. He didn't want to tell his parents for the same reason and everything. It tore me up to let him deny me to his parents when we were dating, and for him to always make me make every decision. You have to work on him, he just doesn't want to or doesn't know how to grow up.
love has to be proven with action. This is where you have to get tough, whether he is a good guy or not. I have a awesome man who is considered one of the good ones, but I was not about to play moms to a grown man. Let him know that if he doesn't want this to be honest and tell u. Also let him know that you need to see improvements. Let him make the next few decisions and see how it goes. Also be patient with him, we are all only humans and in relationships we have to leave room for error.

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Simplyimperfect202

That young man is looking for you to act like a second mother to him. He is letting you make the decisions while he sits back and pines over you. He is not mature enough for a serious relationship and you are going to find that he is very lazy.

With him confessing his love after only the second day, he is trying too hard and too fast to find love. Put some distance there and tell him to slow down.

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Humanist Hope

16,417

I think you need to talk to him about what's on your mind. If he really does love you, he'll care about what you have to say and he'll want to make things better for you. don't worry about sounding like a bitch. unless you are yelling at him about what he is doing wrong, you'll be fine. just let him know that you want to strengthen your relationship

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Abby

Talk to him, as politely and objectively as you can. Don't put emotions yet, it will blur the reason for the conversation. Just a basic Q & A. Once you get his answers, give him your take/opinion. If his answers reveal that he's in a relationship you for the wrong reason (the correct reason is any of the following: he likes you, wants to spend his time with you, he loves you), then what you have is a toxic relationship. You should be happy and the both of you should work on keeping each other happy to make it work. If that's not the case, there's really no point in what you have if you ask me.

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Mischa

355

I have told him that I want to take it slow. Even my last relationship I felt like I was the mom. I don't want that again.

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Straydog5551

Thank you so much this helps a ton

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Straydog5551