Hi Michael,I've been through this, especially when new to dating in my teens. There's no quick way out, but there are some alternatives.I believe that these types of dreams are expressions of somthing that your mind and heart needs. The breakup was painful enough for you and thinking about it is just as bad. Here's the tough part: you need to consciously allow yourself to grieve. You've been fighting it and not trying to think about it, but your heart won't let you. You need to purge it from you--not necessarily the memories though. You need to remember what happened and why (if you even know why). And keep some perspective: could there be something about you that turns people off? If there's a chance, you need some time to look inward and find what about you may be 'unattractive.' Now don't take that word too hard as we all have unattractive sides. But we all are responsible to clean up our end of the mess we're in. (And for all you know, SHE may be the problem. After you spend some time thinking about who you are, you may conclude she's the problem. It's a lot easier getting over her at that point).I like to think of myself as a modern man with a traditional twist. That being said, I would say that it's OK for a man to cry when the pain is just too much. Not that I want you to be a blubbering mess...but I think you really need to get in touch with the pain inside. Don't think you need to be strong and hold it in and ignore it...that's not really strength, that's just avoidance.Do you know what a "Chinese finger trap" is? If not, Google it. It's just a kid's toy. It works by inserting a finger on either end of the contraption. The harder your struggle, the harder it is to escape. But...relax, go in just a little, show some patience, and it falls right off. Try that same technique for some inward reflection.I hope this helps.
