I have many things I wish to sort out with a professional, but I cannot trust anyone. No one believes anything was wrong with me, but I can not function properly as a (near) adult. The fact that there are big problems is very clear to me, but I cannot put it into words. There is no way to get the help that I need on my own yet. I have no car, no way to pay the bill, no friends to vent with, and my parents will not take me somewhere because they just cannot see what is wrong with me. There are some things I could tell them but they lead to topics that cannot be brought into the household. My friends are out of the question and my situation is so bad I am afraid I will be into my early 20′s before getting any kind of help (even if the closest thing is to just live with my parents.) This problem could easily ruin my life in many ways, but I will not say why yet, too much information and it could be very easy to trace back to me. My parents themselves are of no help. That is not to say they do not try or that I dislike them, this is just not their specialty. They are try to do the best they can, and I applaud them for trying their hardest and be as good of a parent as they can be, but many talks have proven my problem is just not solvable by them. This is my problem and I understand that is is my job to fix it the best I can, so how do I get over my fear of talking to people? I am scared to death that someone will find out about me in ways that I keep secret. I know for a fact that they are aware of the existence of these topics, and they want to know about them. I cannot allow this. It is for their sake.
Part of me says that I can get my problems fixed if I am smart about it. How does someone as paranoid and as myself learn to trust people again?
