wanting to be perfect….


my boyfriend and i have been dating for a year and half and we’ve never met. but before you say anything this isn’t like catfish. we have video chatted and stuff and we’ve made plans to meet up this summer. the only thing is i’m no super model… he says he likes curvy women anyways but idk. He’s from ireland and i’m from america and personality wise we are perfect! but our views on the world are different. he thinks its okay to be a little bigger but whenever i picture us together i see myself as skinny and perfect like everyone else…. i only have 2 months until he comes to see me and i dont think its enough time for me to fix myself. he says over and over that he loves how i look but idk….i think he might change his mind once he sees me…i’m really worried cuz i love him and want to make him happy and idk wut to do. do i trust his opinion or do i try to change to look better?

Category: Tags: asked April 17, 2014

5 Answers

First of all, there are few people who would begrudge you a desire to become healthier. If you want to lose weight and slim down, that's perfectly fine. You should not, however, feel pressured to alter your looks simply because you think he might disapprove, especially when he has already indicated several times that he likes you the way you are. You might want to consider talking to him some more about how you feel, express your insecurity and wishes for your own body type. See how he thinks about it.

In short: don't feel pressured, and talk to him about how you feel. Should you want to lose weight and/or improve your health, do so. It is unlikely he'll make an issue out of it.
Hello. I wanted to answer this question as soon as I read the first line. I am also in a long distance relationship. I was with my boyfriend for a year and a half before we met last summer. And before he came to see me I felt exactly like you feel now. I am not perfect either, I've always been big. I was so nervous that he wasn't going to like my body. But here's the thing: He will. He is not going to care, he already said he doesn't mind! Look, insecurities is just within you, you just have to convince yourself that you like your own body. And even if you don't like it, use that as motivation to make some changes. But do it for yourself, not anyone else. Long distance relationships are very tricky, and as mentioned I speak from experience. But trust me, once you let go of your insecurities and trust that he will love you exactly the way you are, everything gets better. Its hard, I know. There's no miracle cure for bad self esteem. But your boyfriend is going to love you just the way you are. It's just even worse when you think he has these expectations since it's the first time you guys are meeting in person. Enjoy every second of your time together and don't ruin it by not feeling well because you don't like yourself. Try not to give a damn and everything will get better. You can do it! :) Good luck to you sweetheart.
If he genuinely loves you no matter your shape or size he will love you. I am sure you feel the exact same way about him, we all have our dislikes when it comes to appearance so I understand how nervous you must feel. If you want to lose weight I am sure he will support you; perhaps discuss with him how you feel. He will appreciate how honest you are but also feel happy that you are comfortable to discuss your body to him. :) xx
He's not going to change his mind. He's already seen you. Try to relax and learn to accept yourself. As someone else said, if you want to lose weight to be healthy - that's not a bad thing but when someone loves you, they don't tear you apart like this. He's obviously attracted to you or he wouldn't be with you. And he says he loves how you look. You need to learn to trust him and let this fear go.
My responce here is... you are who you are,we need not try to change for others as it is false and how would we keep that appearance up as it would be found out sooner or later.
He needs to know the real you,so just be your self.If its meant to be it will be.Dont worry about trying to be some one different as its not worth it in the long run.Any just to remind you he did say he like how you look.
Now my negative here if I am going to be honest with you is... be careful as you have not truly been dateing at all!,you cant possibly know some one just because you chat on line for some time..
Think about the people you may see on Tv who have been conned and hearts brocken in these situations.Lets face it!,we think we know some one in person if we have been with them for years but there is always more to learn,secrets to come out.
Sorry but I felt I needed to say this.Good Luck!