Want to Die

I know what your saying. I have been contemplating life lately myself. Do you ever find yourself wondering why we are even here? Society makes this life for us we don't create it. You have to wake up every morning and go to a job to make money, you need money to eat, to pay rent, to do anything almost anymore. Why would I want to live when there is no way to break this cycle? No matter what job I pick I will feel the same. No matter if I had 1 million dollars or 5 dollars I wont find what I'm looking for. I am no longer afraid to die like I was before. I sometimes can only eat 1 meal a day because I am broke and in those moments I think about how its pointless to even be here because this government that is supposed to help denied me of help when I needed it the most. How is that life?

Like Catcus said, I think you should try to make some new goals for yourself.

I'm interested in your beliefs about death being a shift of consciousness...I often wonder about this too. Can you elaborate a little further about how you've come to this understanding? I wonder about the different planes of existence; there is my conscious mind, intentionally typing this; my subconscious, acting seemingly of its own accord, and intermingling with other planes my conscious mind cannot fathom.

yeah

Maybe you need a change of scenery. Travelling allowed me to develop my own world view and sense of belonging/ existing. Get a backpack, fly to Bangkok with $2,000 and see how far you can get. Meet people along the way, travel on a bicycle, meet strangers who give you endless shots of rice wine and delicious food. When I was traveling my favourite song was Naive Melody (This Must Be The Place) by Talking Heads. Home is wherever you happen to be. But people are like bicycles, we tend to fall over if we stop moving.

I have a friend thats bipolar, she gets depressed, stressed, and suicidal for no reason. Its just the chemical imbalance in her brain. The magic of bipolar disorder...