There really is no answer, just need input?

I’ll try to summarize this the best I can
27 minutes
My wife and I were together for 10 years married for 3, we were high school sweethearts 17/18 when we got together. A year after being married I caught the start of an affair with my best friend and best man at the wedding( they kissed one night at a party we had and continued to have sexual text conversations behind my back until I found out and believe I caught it before it turned into more, I have no way to know for sure but believe that to be the case) we decided to work it out she got pregnant and a few months after these thoughts of the past crept up on me to the point I resented her I then left to be with another girl which lasted 2 months and I broke down and missed my wife and went back, I stayed another 3 months but the last month I was talking to the other girl again and went back to her. It lasted around a month or so and the thought of not being around for my daughter killed me, she took me back again. So my daughter was born in March and by the end of June I started growing feelings for someone else who I worked with(I don’t know why, I could have avoided it but the attention I received felt good and I still harbored feelings of resentment and now I felt like she was interfering with something that could be true happiness like her and I used to have. So I left and I’ve been with this girl since June/July I love her but I found out my wife has been seeing someone now and it absolutely destroyed me she and I talked about the new guy. I have been fighting with this other girl over her immaturity and her inability to take a stand for herself (she lives at home and is completely controlled by her parents) (and yes I realize my immaturity hasn’t been any better). I don’t know what to do I really love my wife and daughter but I also love this girl, I don’t know what to do without hurting people again and again and do I really want to be with my wife or just not want her to be with someone else and have another man around my daughter before she even realizes I’m daddy.

Category: Dating & Relationships asked November 5, 2013

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Lifeainteasy

5 Answers

2 accepted

Hey so this situation of you'rs seems really rough, but it seems to me that you brought it on yourself. You need to decide what you want and stick with it. If you really want to be a part of your wife and child's life then you need to be a man and tell her so. She might not listen since she's been hurt by you so many times in the past. But if this is truly what you want, then taking a chance on it and sharing your feelings is worth it. If she doesn't want you back, then my suggestion is to accept it and move on. It's still possible that you might be able to see your child and not get back together with her too. These are options you're going to want to talk about with your wife. Good luck. And remember that this decision of your's is really important. I'm sure the last thing you want to do is drag your wife and child along on an emotional rollercoaster. Please try to think and act carefully. Good luck.

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Alexis

562

You need to stop being selfish and decide wether you are ready to commit and concentrate on being a father rather than a boyfriend/husband.you need to think about your daughter and mend your relationship as much as possible before it is to late or you need to walk away. Maybe you and your wife are never going to be romantically involved again but you both need to create a stable environment for your child to grow up in. You need to communicate with your wife. Also you evidently have struggled with unstable relationships so realise that your little girl will always love you no matter what so if you decide to commit it will be the most rewarding relationship you ever have.

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g123

cheating isn't a mistake it's a choice. if you can't romantically be involved with your wife than put that aside and realise that you both have needs that you guys are both human beings that need affection and love that you guys just can't provide for each other anymore. so you need allow yourself to be happy with someone else as well as letting your wife do the same whilst still raising your daughter to know who mom and dad are.

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g123

The focus is our daughter, we have a more stable relationship than anyone I've ever met goin through something g similar, we are perfectly civil with eachother until we are together that's when the past creeps in my head and I let it get the better of me

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Lifeainteasy

-4

idk

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krissy1001

-48