Can someone please help me out?
So I had reason to believe my boyfriend was seeing someone else,
I also trust him and thought in my heart he would never do anything though.
So my mother I talked to her about it, I told her I was feeling like killing myself.
She removed the harmful things and I could tell she didn’t want to help.
She is t a nice person to me she never wants me to be happy I’m starting to believe.
Because when I told her about my bf possibly cheating she and her partner said he probably is and to just dump him I said no I love him. She then told me to talk to another guy and that it would make my boyfriend not take me for granted and be all over me.
So stupid me in the state I was in did talk to another guy, I talked to him about all my problems about my boyfriend and other stuff. I talked to him like he was my bf cause I missed my bf so much as he needed space and wouldn’t talk to me.
I said I love you to this other guy and he would say it back. It went on for about 3 days and my boyfriend starting talking to me again I started feeling better and I too the other guy I love my boyfriend and made a mistake and that I don’t love this other guy and he didn’t want to accept that at first but now so far has stopped talking to me. I never meet up with him ever. I met him twice and that was 3 years ago, and he possibly slept with my sister so that was just another reason I wouldn’t touch him. But does anyone understand what have I done?
I never liked or loved this other guy one bit he was the only person to talk to me on Facebook so I just started talking to him like my mother told me to.
I feel as if my mother has tried to make me do this so if I didn’t dump my boyfriend that he would dump me?
My boyfriend is pretty emotional and I think he would dump me if I told him or he found out and I would not live my life without him but having this secret and guilt it is eating at me everyday I feel like I have done something so wrong like I cheated? But I don’t get it I never cheated in anyone before and I don’t think this is cheating cause I didn’t touch him? or have feeling for him. I love my boyfriend to much to loose him. We are perfect for each other so why did I make such a bad mistake
What do I do?
I just want to tell him and for him to understand and to forgive me and trust me that I wouldn’t happen again but he said I was on thin ice when I told him I sent pics to a guy before we started dating but were talking he was so upset and angry he also said is there anything else you want to tell me or that he needed to know I said no there isn’t. I clearly lied. What is wrong with me and what do I do? I’m loosing my mind and feel so guilty that I should just tell him he would prob yell and or dump me then I’d go of and kill myself no joke.
