This is a vent as well as a question. My elderly father made friends with a young couple in their early twenties about four years ago. He didn’t have much to do with me or my husband in the end after befriending them and only came out with us three times from when my mother died in 2005, to when I also lost my husband in 2011. I have tried not to mind this couple being friends with him, but he has done so much for them and he spends over £40 a week on the lottery and the girl’s husband suggested he give them half if he wins, and not long ago, they also told him a story about a young couple who looked after an elderly person, and when they died they left them all their assets, and he suggested my dad leave them his house. But my dad said he was only joking, but I don’t find any of it funny.
He finds them interesting because they are from a different country (China) and they have an interesting culture. But they must have thought at one point since knowing him that his own daughter and son in law didn’t want anything to do with him, but this is far from the truth, it was him that rejected us once they came into his life. I have had rows with him over this, and I wish they would get out of his life. I am living with him now, and hate the way this couple talk to him but leave me standing on the sidelines like I am no one. But he won’t listen to me, so I have to let him on with it. But I can’t help hating it all and it keeps upsetting me. If I say anything to them, they will tell him about it, and he will shout and swear at me. He doesn’t want me to be friends with them. I do everything for him and am here if he needs me, but that is all. I have no where else to go, but I hate the way all of this makes me feel and they way they act like they are more of a family than I am to them. He has always been a person who puts others before is family my mother used to tell me, and this is true. So what can I do? I feel ratty and hateful about it all as at his time of life, I feel we should be closer than we are if it wasn’t for them. He hasn’t even mentioned his son in law since he died, and it isn’t because he is too upset to. He was never close to me growing up. He hardly spoke to me and it’s the same now. He just thinks about them all the time, talking on the phone ect. All am is a skivvy to him. He asked me to move in when my husband died and I gave up my home which I didn’t mind doing, because now he is getting older he will need me to help out, he is due to go into hospital again, like last time – he was more worried about me doing his lottery for him. Now I know why, he’s doing it for them. But it’s not like they are poor.
