Should I talk to my ex?

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Me and my ex broke up in January and I’m still not over him. I’m getting there, but not completely. We started talking again the other day, and he messaged me last night with a picture of us, saying he misses it. I’m not sure whether to reply or not. I suffer with anxiety and depression, and I worry this could make things a lot worse. Should I reply?

Category: Tags: asked October 24, 2014

6 Answers

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The best thing is to make a clean break. I would tell him to stop messaging you. If he as a question or two about what happened maybe answer it otherwise do not. It will only make it more difficult wait until your more or less completely over him. Unless of coarse it was a healthy relationship and maybe you guys wanna try again.
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Oh dear.. While break ups are hard to deal with and it gets very tough to get over a person, time is the best kind of healer in such cases. My advice in general and for you too, would be to not bother to talk to your ex again. Even if they beg and plead.. because once you both begin to talk, you'd expect things to be the way they were before. We tend to seek our comfort zone, which is extremely unlikely to achieve. In fact, it won't happen that things become as normal again. For one good thing you've done, do yourself a favour and don't bother about this person again. You could delete the message they sent and carry on in life.
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I know how are feeling when my bf broke up with me I was devastated . After trying to be friends I finally cut off communication with him. After 2 weeks he started messaging me , telling me how much he missed me. I decided to talk to him and we thought we would try and make it work again. Well..it's been about 2 months and I don't think it's going to work. I know I'm going to have to go through the heartbreak all over again . If I could give one piece of advice it would be don't , don't, don't. Unless you want to feel that awful feeling of losing someone all over again . Please be strong and move on ...I wish I had.
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My opinion.. no. He is ex for a reason. I know it is hard not to reply, but i think it is for the best.
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Either don't reply, or reply and tell him "hey that makes me uncomfortable", or however. Call him out on being a jerk.
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Everybody keeps saying you should stay away because "he's an ex for a reason" but what's not stated is the reason you guys brokeup or how old each of you are. You broke up 10 months ago. People change, but not overnight. You've both had 10 months to become more mature and learn from your mistakes, depending on how you used the time apart. If you are still "not over" him after no contact for 10 months, then there's a good possibility that you are both still in love and that with proper communication, your relationship could actually work out. It sickens me how easily everybody today just gives up. If there was abuse in the relationship then by all means, don't get back in touch, but if it was a stupid reason to break up, like a misunderstanding, or one of you was afraid of commitment at that time, or you were going to different schools in different countries and couldn't handle long distance... if you still have love for this person, and he still has love for you, then I think you owe it to yourselves and each other, to give it another shot, or at the very least, have a quick catchup and see if you can be friends. What would be the worst thing if you began to have feelings for him again? What's the worst that could happen? What else do you have going on in your life? Do you have other offers? Better offers? I've known people who have broken up for a year or two and then ended up working things out and getting married. That doesn't work for everybody of course, but as long as he wasn't violent to you or disrespectful, if you still have feelings, get back in touch. I don't buy the whole "he is your ex for a reason" philosophy. I'm in the you-never-know-he-might-be-the-one-you're-supposed-to-be-with-for-the-rest-of-your-life camp. Because we don't know what God or the universe has planned for us. The atheists will say we make our own choices and determine our own fate, but I've seen things happen in my own life when I tried to "unlove" a person, or tried to end the relationship and the universe just kept dropping that person right back into my lap, despite her desire or my desire to move away from each other and move on. I think the best thing you can do is listen to your own intuition. Only you know what being with this guy was like before, and only you can tell whether or not you've both changed, or whether or not the communication between you has improved. You also know what you want out of life and how well this person would fit or not fit with your goals. But keep in mind, that you may want to be a famous celebrity but if the universe doesn't want you in that role, it's not going to happen no matter how many youtube videos you make. so while you may want to not be together, if you find that you keep coming back into each other's lives, then you might want to look deeper into that as well.


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