Should I stop our relationship?

Okay.. so this might be a bit complicated but I really just can’t sit around anymore without some outside help with this.

I’m 19, and a girl, and I’ve been in a long-distance relationship with a guy I met online for a few months now. I live in California and he lives in North Carolina, but we decided to give it a shot. Lately though I feel like we’ve been drifting further and further apart, as we never really talk anymore, even when we’re both online. I always assumed maybe he was always playing video games, but even when he’s not he never even really says hi until I have to log off. Since I haven’t been able to really talk to him or anybody about my relationship I’ve been feeling extremely lonely lately.

The biggest problem our relationship’s been giving me is the fact that when I asked him out he told me straight-out that he was polyamourous (Meaning he likes to see multiple people at once). I can respect him for his lifestyle and the fact that he was honest to tell me straight out, but I feel uncomfortable being in a relationship with someone like that.

Should I break up with him? He’s absolutely a sweetheart and I’m really shy and scared that I might hurt his feelings, but at the same time I want to try and find a relationship with someone I can physically be with. What should I do?

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Justice

6 Answers

You can't let yourself be miserable by wanting to spare other people's feelings. It's good that you respect his lifestyle, but it's okay if it doesn't fit with your preferences. If the relationship isn't making you happy, break up with the person. You can explain that your dating preferences don't fit well together, and he deserves to be with someone who is comfortable with that. Since you don't talk much to begin with, you can suggest staying friends and just catch up every so often. Long distance relationships are hard to maintain. If you two do decide to try and make it work/keep the relationship going, you can always try video chatting, watch movies online together, play video games that he plays online with him. Talk on the phone. Send letters through the mail. Send little gifts like stuff tourists would buy or candy that one state has and the other doesn't, or postcards from different attractions. I wish you the best in whatever you do dear <3 If you want to talk privately, you can message me/friend me.

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Lauren

931

Honey youh answered your own question, i think its time to move on... i know harsh reality. online does not really work unless youh have potential to see each other. Youh feel uncomfortable... youh should always feel safe and comfortable in a relationship..

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sarah-the-crohnie

191

Polyamourous relationships are still relationships, relationships where someone can feel neglected and they tell their partner how they feel and talk about what can be improved. So, if you want to give it a try before breaking up, you can tell him how things are not working, and talk it out to see if you can get more from him. Or from other people, like him. If you feel that it still isn't enough, or if nothing changes, then yes, don't stay in something that makes you feel miserable.

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rinseandrep

7,397

Ultimately it's up to you, but if you're uncomfortable now perhaps you should consider putting it to bed and finding someone that just wants to focus on /you/.

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Laura

117

End this relationship now, your boyfriend is only interested in cruising social media for sex, he has been honest with you and you can thank him for that, many men do this kind of thing he's probably very good looking and has the pick of very many women, but ultimately he will break the hearts of everyone he has contact with, he should carry a warning caustic please don't touch.

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nottoofrosty

It sounds like you know you should break up for you, but you don't want to for him. If that is the case, staying together will only lead to resentment and other negative feelings.That being said, if you do want to work it out, long distance relationships can work as long as there's some sort of realistic possibility in the future of being together. I met my spouse on-line and it was really hard when we were so far apart. I ended up moving away from all my friends and family so we could be together. That was hard too, but it's been over a decade, so it CAN work. It takes a lot of communication though. You have to be willing to talk about how you're feeling. Being apart really puts a ton of focus on communication, which honestly should be there in any relationship.

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Awestruck