Should I kick my mom out of my life?

I'm probably not the best person for this. In consideration, I rarely talk to any of my family... Could make a reality show, out of half the things we did. The other half would make a good Jackass film.

However, this is a stand point you have to understand. Some parents will try the, we gave birth to you. Raised you and put a roof over your head. But you see, that doesn't really mean much. That is their job as a parent. Every parent should have been aware of the price for raising a child. Though some parents thinks the child is meant to work for them. Not true in the least. So first you owe absolutely nothing. No child ever owes the parent anything. It's the parent that owes them, for bring them into this world.

However, family is family. You can love her, but you don't have to talk to her. I love my family, but I never communicate with them. I try to avoid it.
Though you shouldn't really say it isn't her fault. It's more of a 50/50 kind of thing. She could take medication, but she refuses to see a problem. Some people can't or/are not ready to admit they have a problem. So, really it kind of is a fault of hers. For making the choose, though at the same time it's not. Since, her illness probably doesn't let her see. There is also, the question of why no other member of your family has pointed it out. Also your father could be question on that as well.
An intervention could have helped. I'm not saying it would have, only could have. But that is a what if scenario. Sometimes those with a mental illness needs help. In identifying they may have a problem. Bi-polar disorder is also hereditary. So, there could be issues popping up there as well.

But in the end it is a choose you will have to make, before something gives. You can develop patience in dealing with someone who has a sickness or you can cut it out. Especially if you have your own problems.

Now with that out of the way. I suggest you take everything I said with a grain of salt.

In my opinion if i was in this situation, i would keep casual contact. send christmas and bday cards. a phone call every 3 months to check in and say hi. But she did raise you, and she is your mom. there is nothing you can do to ignore that fact. a mother is a mother, and although she struggles being at her best im sure she feels or will feel regret for the way she chose to raise you. Bipolar personalities can be very hard to work with..

Hello Pond. (Totally said that in Matt Smith's voice), and you did the right thing reaching out.

Your story is almost a carbon-copy of my ex-wife's home life. There were a lot of mixed reactions to your post, but there is one overarching truth to your most regrettable history; it is that your mother makes no effort to help herself, so by that truth, you are not compelled to help her, her relation to you does not absolve her; blood does not negate wrongdoing, that is a meaningless excuse to let someone off the hook when there is no reason with a basis in reality for doing so.

By this point, you would be one hundred percent justified in cutting your mother out of your life, and the consequences of being cut off from all of her children MIGHT someday inspire her to make some very overdue changes in her own.

It is very true that your mother NEEDS help for her neglected case of bi-polar disorder, but you have already had a great deal of the joy ripped from your life by her mismanaged condition, and you are not compelled to continue sacrificing for someone who has no problem telling you that she hates you.

Move on with your life and maintain relations with those parts of your family that are receptive to it. If you come to feel that you want to help your mother, it will be easier to convince her as a group than as individuals to whom she is already dangerously close to being violent. Your mother needs a doctor, and if she refuses to acknowledge what is in her own best interest, talk with your father about having her committed against her will.

Those are your options, distasteful as they may be, but unfortunately, positive emotions don't fix everything. Please keep in contact and let us know how things progress. Remember that you matter, and you are not alone.

You need positivity in your life. If your mother is making you feel shitty and making you feel miserable then yes kick her out of your life. It depends on how severe she's behaving and how she makes you feel. Do what is best for you. Family is family but that doesn't necessarily mean you owe her anything.

I agree with both of you. I don't need negativity in my life, especially now I've got my own problems. But I also really don't want to judge her for something she can't help. I mean, she could if she took the proper medicine but she refuses to believe anything's wrong. Her manic states have torn my family apart and I feel like I have to choose a side. I love her to death and I'd do anything for her but I can't get over everything she's done.

If she stresses you out and all you ever do is fight I would consider having a distant relationship with her seeing her on holidays and every now and again but avoiding each other the rest of the time. My bf went thru the same thing with his father only his father was abusive as well but he found it best after he moved out just to have no contact with him at all.

You all have made excellent points. It makes my decision a little less terrifying for me. What Mako said about it being hereditary, that worries me everyday. I sometimes sit around and wonder if I'll find out I'm bipolar too. My brother found out recently that he is, but he's taking medicine for it and he seems happier than ever. Also I agree about my father, I think he feels like he owes her because he was abusive for more than half their marriage. He knows about her bipolar disorder, he just chooses to let her go on how she wants to. He just goes along with her lies and when she goes manic and freaks out he defends her when she's pissed us off. I know she needs help, but my family will never come together for an intervention or anything like that. My oldest brother and middle sister hate my oldest sister and my two brothers haven't talked in 2 years. It's just not going to happen. But I have thought about talking to her about it myself. I will work on that, figure out what I need to say to get her to understand. Anyway, thank you to everyone, you've all been a big help. I came in feeling confused and having mixed emotions about the whole thing but now I think the best thing would be to cut her out of my life for now and then later find some way to help her without letting her bring me down.

I think you should tell her you won't talk to her again until she gets help for her bipolar disorder. There she therapists and medications that can be extremely helpful for those suffering from bipolar disorder. Maybe ending contact will motivate her to finally seek help. Best of luck to you!