Should I just cut myself off?

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Sometimes I really just need someone…to talk to or just understand. The closest friend I have has stabbed me in the back multiple times like she doesn’t realize how much words hurt. And I need someone but know I can only say so much because if she gets upset later she uses my weakness against me to hurt me. Even telling other people. Am I a fool for continuing to be friends with her?

Category: asked December 28, 2013

3 Answers

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i dont think you are a fool, because everybody wants friendship at some point and will do what it takes to have it. but i do think you should consider the fact that she seems like she has a lot she needs to learn and still has to mature and grow and be able to handle more of a trusting relationship.
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I feel your pain. I'm in kind of a similar situation, and I've really learned that it's not worth your time or stress. If someone is making your life more stressful than it needs to be, let them go. Honestly, it can vary between situations, but I think you already know what the right thing is. Just really dig up the truth inside yourself (ok that sounded cheesy but go).
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I think that it is perfectly understandable to go back to unhealthy relationships. I, myself, have done this on multiple occasions. I'm not sure if it's the same for you, but I have this internal need to trust the people I'm around even if I know that I shouldn't. And, I also try to remember all the good things that I've had in these relationships.

But, while this is all fine and dandy, I found myself surrounded by people I didn't actually really like. I found that I didn't really have anyone to talk to. So, I did still stay with those people, but they do not play large roles in my life. I don't bring them close to me, because I know that they're just going to hurt me. But I'm not really one for completely deleting people out of my life.

In your situation, I think you should either talk to your 'friend' about the situation, which could turn against you, but also improve your relationship. Or, my recommendation, distance yourself from her. Find someone new to talk to. And if you can't find someone you can trust in person, online friends can help you just the same.

I believe that you are well aware that this person isn't going to be someone you want to keep with you forever. But, by cutting her off, I think you may cause some unnecessary turmoil, and she could play this against you. Again, this is your own decision, but really I think it's just safe to distance yourself from her and find better people to be close with.